Rocky Road

Chapter 1- Like I said some were born lucky, others tried to get lucky.

It took one full reach for me to ruin my life. It felt like the whole had tuned out and it was only me and the beloved bleach left to entertain ourselves.

"Cleo. Cleo, are you even listening?" My mum waved her hands in front, snapping me out of the daze; her beautiful caramel face turning into a frown.

I sighed. Some were just born lucky, others try for luck.

"My parents will be waiting for you when you get off the bus. They will have this picture of me like the one you see at home." She hugged me tight like it was the last time we would see each other, she sniffed several times before letting me go. Her eyes still knotted in same confusion like the first time she caught me in the bathroom as to why I do the things I did. I bowed my head first, not being able to look at her anymore. Although the shameful sin weighed heavily on my conscience, it wasn't enough to stop me again. The things I would do just to be a few shades lighter is an ongoing sacrifice for beauty and that seems to baffle Janet Patra.

Like I said some were born lucky, others tried to get lucky.

"Promise me something." Here we go. "You wouldn't do anything and I mean anything stupid at your grandparents." Her eyes were begging and I couldn't fail to comply. Maybe for the next three months I'll stay away from my companion but not forever. She nodded satisfied with my answer.

"Good. I love you."

"I love you too." Swiftly I ran onto the bus, handing my ticket to the driver and perching myself on the only available two-seater and waved to my mum. She wrapped her purple shawl around her blowing me a kiss as the bus begun to move out of the depot.

I sighed throwing my head back on the already clammy and noisy bus. 

She needs to be more appreciated. I don't think she feels loved enough.

That's what the stupid therapy had said and I could never forget my mother's face when he insinuated that I was neglected as a child. He had 'subtly' blamed my mother like it was her fault I had reached for the bleach first and second time. It was so fresh in my mind, her eyes, her nose twisted into hurt, the memory was etched firmly into my skull but I guess that didn't stop me a third time. A mirror can sometimes be a girl's worst friend.

I vowed never step foot in his office ever again. I was never neglected at all; my mother showered me with so much love I occasionally forgot I didn't have a father. Sometimes it looked too conspicuous that my mother resembled beautifully cooked caramel cupcakes and I: just a basic burnt cake. Why couldn't Janet Patra have been the dominant gene and Malcolm the recessive one? And even my father wasn't that dark; he had a milk chocolate complexion. Now I'm stuck trapped in a skin I don't want. It sounds ungrateful but nobody wants to look like charcoal, it was the way life is, I mean when was the last time you saw a dark skinned girl on the cover of anything. Never was the answer.

"You asshole!" That brought me back from my thoughts. I noticed a woman in her late forties to my left, hitting her husband with her handbag.

"I gave you thirty years of love and marriage for you to cheat on me with not just any woman, but a black woman!" The entire bus fell silent and I felt like burying myself into a whole. I love public confrontations as much as the next gossiper but in some ways I felt like I was in the middle of this one.

"I'm sorry." The bald husband mumbled.

"Well sorry is not enough, when we get back. Pack it and go. I never want to see you again." She moved into the aisle scanning and realised I was the only one left with room. 

"Sorry child, may I squeeze myself here?" Her voice quaked slightly. I had no choice but to give up my leg space for a distraught woman. A further hour into the awkward journey, she began rustling pulling out a tin.

"Want one love?"  The squared cakes looked inviting, I wanted to reach for one but I know my mother would have whooped me right now for accepting something from a stranger. Then there was the thought she could be trying to poison me, I mean just right now she hated on a black woman. But I would have to accept, she may take offend if I didn’t.

"Sure, what are they?"

"Dark chocolate rocky roads, my favourite." I nodded noticing the white and pink marshmallows. The rocky roads were an orgasm to my taste buds. Normally I hated dark chocolate but I could fault anything with these goodies.

"Nice isn't it? A woman makes them for my daughter’s cafe. Best in the town they say." I agreed nodding.

"These are so good." I continued chomping on another two before the bus pulled up to the final destination- Middletown. My hands were starting to sweat like a pig. Never in my life have I ever met my grandparents. My parents and them had a big falling out before I was born, even my older brother Rasheed never got to meet them. This was a huge deal for me.

I can just imagine two light skinned people with a couple of wrinkles. They would be the same shade as my mother and brother with beautiful smiles and charming charisma that wouldn't help but pull people in. This was another reason that made me feel like a goat in a field of sheep, a black goat with nothing to offer.

I stepped into the scorching sun peeling off my mini sweater. I scanned the area- there was an old couple, a young woman holding a dog and a tanned old man who was leaning against his car door.

Bingo.

I trudged towards him with my suitcase.

"Grandfather?" The man faced me. His grey speckled hair sticking to his face.

"I'm sorry?"

"Are you my grandfather? My mum is Janet Patra, are you-?"

"Do I look like your grandfather?" his tone of voice wasn't very pleasant. Well it was against my better judgement; the man was practically white with a tint to his skin. He waved me away, almost hitting me with a car door. 

Rude.

How was I meant to know who to look for, my mum wasn't exactly smart when she left me to singularly go on a journey and stay with people I have never seen before with any guidance on what they looked like?

"Cleo?" the old couple I saw earlier stood up from the bench and marched towards me with wild smiles. They were so well suited; it was no denying it was love, both in their late 50's with his tall stature and her small frame. The man's hands were around her securely as they moved closer.

"Cleo?" the man took of his farmer’s hat, placing it under his arm.

"Yes?" I eyed them from head to toe not quite believing what I was seeing.

"It is so good to see you. Look Patrick she looks just like our Ne in her teens." 

"Grandma, grandpa?" The woman kissed my cheeks smelling like strawberries and cream. My feet were frozen in place although reflexes were telling me to move away as far as possible.

"Yes." The old man fished around in his pocket pulling out an old picture and passed it to me. I stared at the picture for a long time. There was no doubt in my fragile mind- that these two dark skinned couple were my mother's parents also known as the grandparents.

"How?" I whispered to myself.

No matter how stupid and ignorant it was, I didn't understand but there was no denying it, the high cheekbones on my grandfather, the wide full lips and small frame on my grandmother, these were all features my mother had inherited from them both. It was all there.

"I'm Grandmother Billy and this is your Grandfather Patrick. But you can call us mama and papa. Is this your luggage?" I nodded slowly, watching my granddad pick up the Brown suitcase. Grandmother hooked arms with me, her straw hat positioned firmly on her head.

"It's been a long day but I want to know every detail about you..."

This was going to be one long summer.