Just Hold On

16. Sober

DONNIE'S POV

I finish tying up my shoes and stand up from my bed. Before I leave my room I quickly check my hair on the mirror and run my hands over it a few times to tame it.

I walk to my parents' room to let them know I'll be out tonight but when I get in I only see my mother. Lying on her bed, as always.

She has her phone in one hand and she's scrolling down with the index finger of her other hand, just like she does every second of the day.

"Mom I'm going to Sydney's," I inform her.

She keeps her eyes on her screen and turns her sight to me after a few seconds, "Are you going to wear that?" She rudely asks. I know I'm not into fashion but I know how to dress properly. Her not liking my style is not my problem.

"Yeah," I simply answer, changing my mood in a matter of seconds.

"Huh," is the only thing she says and looks back at her bright screen, scrolling down at who knows what social media, "Have fun," she adds in a monotone voice and I start walking downstairs to see if my dad's here.

"Are you going to wear that?" I sarcastically repeat to myself in a low voice. She could've kept that to herself but that wouldn't be my mom. She just has to say something negative whenever we do or say something.

Whenever I help with the dishes she manages to find the littlest spot of food on the plates, 'This is still dirty', or 'I can see food in this fork', or 'Don't waste too much water'. I'm trying to contribute with the house's chores but I never do well enough, which drives me insane, I'm never a good son to her eyes.

I get into the kitchen and my dad is preparing himself a sandwich, "Hey champ," he says when I walk in and I watch him place a piece of cheese over his bread.

"Hi dad," I say, "I'm going to Sydney's," I tell him and he nods.

"Okay, just keep me informed," he says and I nod. He always likes to know if I'm doing okay via text messages, that way he knows I'm safe. "How's your mom doing?" He asks before I leave.

I roll my eyes, "She's on her phone," I point out the obvious. The only time of the day she's not addicted to it is when she's either showering or talking with some of her siblings. I remember when she used to tell me I was obsessed with my phone and the Internet and now she can't take her eyes off of it.

"Is she-"

"She's not drinking," I interrupt before he finishes the question. I'm glad she has been able to stay sober for the last few weeks. I couldn't stand coming back home from school and finding her on the floor crying because she hated her life or throwing stuff in the air, breaking them when they fell down, or even worse, watching her sleep the entire day because she was feeling depressed, thinking my dad and I were planning how to ruin her life because we hated her.

She has been thinking that way since I was little and till this day I don't know what I did, or what my dad and I have done to make her feel that way, although I don't think it's our fault, since my dad has told me how she had a drinking problem back when they were dating. He tried helping her but at the end he accepted it and loved her with all her problems. Sadly she hasn't been able to quit that habit of hers.

"Good," is the only thing he says, taking his sight away from me. I love my mom with all her flaws as well as my dad, but I don't know how he manages to bear with her attitude. She doesn't contribute with anything, no income, no cleaning, no cooking, she just lives. Sometimes I wonder what's going on in her mind because I want to help her, but then I let it go when I hear her talking shit about me.