Hope: A New Adult College Romance

Chapter 38

Ema's POV:

I couldn't talk with Nate after what he told me, I had to think, but today is Monday and we have Architecture together so, eventually we will need to speak.

This is all getting so messed up. My life is getting so messed up that I don't know what to think any more. I found out that my mother is not really my mother and now I have a whole new family of strangers, my best friends are not in a good place at the moment, I have a job and school to worry about not to mention the new project I have with Lifestyling Rooms, and to top it all of every time I think Nate and I are progressing something happens and we go back to the secrets and hurting each other.

We don't do it on purpose, I know, but we are constantly hurting each other and not just us, but those around too. We bring our problems and issues to our friends and I don't like that.

I need to get my shit together. I don't remember the last time I did something spontaneous or had time to just have a completely stress free day.

It's November... The weather is getting much colder in this town, but I mean London is known for its not warm weather.

I grab my warm long black jacket and dress it on top of my black ripped jeans with an olive green half sleeved shirt. I'm wearing my black vans since it's not raining today and to complete my look I grab a black mini back pack with a periwinkle pompom on the lower zipper.

On my way to class my mind keeps wondering about what I will say to Nate. I know that it was in his past and he has changed a lot, but so have I. Sometimes I think that even though I might bring out the best in him, he brings out the worst in me.

I love him, I do. From the bottom of my heart I love that man and all of his imperfections, but I feel like I'm falling apart and I don't know where to hold on.

I walk inside the classroom and sit on my spot. Jason greets me when he comes in but moves to his partner right away. When I look back to the door Nate steps in but on his way here he stops and smiles at a girl.

My throat dries and I feel heavy, I have never seen that girl nor have I seen Nate talking with her. Who is she?

You know what? It doesn't matter, I don't need more things to worry about. Whatever it is, it can wait and maybe it's nothing at all.

"Hey." My boyfriend says as he sits by my side.

I look at him and give him a faded smile.

"How are you?" He asks. Good question. How am I? I feel like I need to sleep for a year.

"Exhausted."

"I'm sorry."

"I know." I sigh.

For him to forgive me about the kiss I have to forgive him about that, specially when the kiss was while we were together and that wasn't, "There is nothing to apologise to me for. You did nothing to me."

"Can you forgive me?" I add.

"I'll need a little bit more time."

"I understand."

Why is this being so hard?

"What happened to us?" I mutter.

"What do you mean?" Nate stops what he was doing and looks at me confused.

"You don't feel it?"

"Feel what? What are you talking about, love?"

"We're drifting away, -"

"No, Ema, stop. We are not drifting away, we are just going through a rough time. It happens, relationships have bad times too but it's how we go through them, how we react that shows us how strong our bond is." He didn't realise but he stood up and talked his heart out, the whole class was watching but he didn't care, he probably didn't even notice, his eyes were only on me.