Hiding ~ Phan

Part 2

hey again. im sorry i havent updated in a while :c i've had really bad writer's block :/ im really sorry. i dont think this update will be as good as the last one bc im just trying to get it done. there is a trigger warning for this update, bc of self-harm etc. sorry, but i didn't say this was gonna be happy. i hope you enjoy anyway :D

~Dan's POV~

I opened my eyes, grinning up at Phil. I immediately shut my mouth. Oh shit. My parents were at the door, staring at us. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. How would I explain this to them? I needed an excuse. "Get off me, freak!" I yelled at Phil. He looked at me with a confused expression. "Dan, what? I thought-" I stare at my parents, hoping he'd get the message. He snaps his head up, and looks at my parents. He puts his hands up and starts to stutter "I-I didn't mean to-o-o do anything I-I'm sorr-ry" He tries to explain himself but my dad raises a hand to silence him. He quickly stops talking and looks to the floor, embarrassed. "Get out of my house" My mum says quietly. He nods and hurries away, turning to look at my, hurt by my actions. After watching him leave, my mum and dad turn back to me. "What the HELL was that?" my dad seethes, obviously trying to control his anger. "Dad, he just jumped on me I didn't expect it I-" "NO LIES." My mum shouts at me, anger flaring in her eyes. "We know you're gay, you little fag. I wouldn't be surprised if we came home and you two were fucking. Now, how should we punish you?" "Maybe I should put the kettle on" My dad smirks and walks into the kitchen. I flinch at the thought of how they were going to hurt me. They'd used the kettle on me so many times before, but I know that that wouldn't be it. I'll have a whole night's worth of punishments. I need to pay for what I did.

~Phil's POV~

As I walk out of Dan's house, I can't help but feel hurt. How could he have said that? One moment we were kissing, and I was sure he was enjoying it, then the next moment he was pushing me off him, calling me a freak. I didn't understand. I'd heard someone cough at the door, then I'd turned around to see a man and a woman standing at the door, staring at us in horror. I assume they were his parents. I can't believe it. I thought he'd said he had a crush on me? It's happening again. The last time I tried to love someone, she ripped out my heart and threw it away like it was nothing. I grit my teeth thinking about her. God, how i despised her. Her messy, rat-tailed hair that I used to call golden and curly. Her dirty brown eyes that I used to call warm and chocolate coloured. Her goofy smile that I used to call radiant. Carrie Hope Fletcher. I used to call her mine. I was approaching my house now, it's red door opening just as I was about to turn the handle. My mum appears, looking at me with rage in her eyes. I was terrified. "Where have you been?" she screeches. I flinch. "I was just helping my friend mum. Nothing happened." My mum hardly ever gets angry, and when she does, she's like a dragon. I usually get left alone by my parents, they're always too busy with their jobs to deal with me. I'm also confused. What did I do wrong. I check the time on my watch. It's only 6:30. I usually got home at 7. What could have caused my mum to be so angry with me? I look past her and I feel my stomach drop. My head teacher, Mr Yamanaka, staring at me coldly. "Phil. I think we need to talk".

~Dan's POV~

"The kettle's ready!" My father calls, and my mother stops beating me. She'd used a large walking stick that we'd inherited from my grandfather when he'd died to repeatedly smack me round the head. I was on the verge of unconciousness, but since she'd done this so many times before, she knew when to stop so I would have to endure more pain, not allowing the pleasant nothingness to take me away. I look up through my swollen, black eyes and see my father come in with a boiling hot, metal kettle. I know what's coming. He grins at me. Slowly, he walks towards me. I look up at him, stare him in the eyes. Then he pours. He pours the boiling hot water onto my, all over my body. My mother had stripped me down to my shorts in preparation for this, and I try to scream but since she'd gagged me with a scarf, all I could do was writhe and made strange, high pitched noises from my throat. They both laugh at my pain. "That's what you get for being a fag," My mother hisses at me. "I'd have thought you would have learnt your lesson by now, but obviously not. We saw you and your queer friend going at it. Don't try to tell us he jumped on you." I look to the floor, hurt by my mother's words, but also angry for Phil. My father had stopped letting the hot water wash over me, only to fill up the kettle to get more. I knew this was going to scar. I already had ugly, puckered skin from the one time they'd done this before on my leg, but this time they hadn't held back. So far, the boiling water had run all down my arms, over my already damaged skin from the self-harm I used to do. I hadn't cut for a while, althought there had been many times that I'd wanted to. My father walks back into the room, holding the now full kettle. He hands it to my mother, and she proceeds to pour the heated water all over my torso. I want to scream so badly, but the scarf in to mouth wouldn't let me. I can feel tears running down my cheek, dripping down onto my body, merging with the blazing water. "Oh don't cry, you little baby" My mother sneers. I try to stop, but the tears keep flowing. My parents snicker at my weakness. Soon, my mother had emptied the all the water onto me but it isn't over. She brings the scorching hot metal of the kettle to my hands and forces me to hold it. I try to drop it but she's got her hands over me own, forcing them to stay on the kettle. My father holds up a roll of cellotape and then wraps it around my hands and the kettle. I must look pathetic. Stripped down tp nothing but shorts, gagged and holding a blisteringly hot kettle. "Me and your mother are going out with friends now," My father says, "I want you to be a good little boy and stay here." They leave me then. I'm happy they're gone. Now I can cry on my own. I haven't felt this bad since I came out to them. That was when I first cut. I feel the need to now. I'm drowning in my own depressiona nd I need to release the mental pain I'm feeling, even if it means I channel it into physical pain. I strain against the tape that's holding my hands to the kettle. I put all my strength into this, and suddenly my hands rip away from the cellotape. I immediately take of the scarf that's wrapped around my mouth and I gasp for air. I'm in a haze as I stumble to the bathroom. My head is pounding and everything is blurry from my tears. I manage to get to the sink and I look at myself in the mirror. I see a boy with a tear stained face, an ugly frown on his face and messed up, brown hair. Surely this boy couldn't be me? But the reflection moves with me. Moves with my hands as they reach for the hidden razor. Moves with my arms as they are held up to the razor. Moves with the razor as it cuts across my skin. 1, 2,3 times on each arm. The boy is the last thing I see before I black out.

~Phil's POV~

"I think we need to discuss your behaviour at school, Philip." Mr Yamanaka says sternly. I had no idea what he was talking about. "It was reported to the Student Support Centre that you have been bullying another pupil, Daniel Howell." A wave of shock goes through me. I was in love with Dan! Then I realised. It was because of the time at that school that I'd bullied him. Called him a fag, a loser. I can't believe I'd forgotten that. "The student that reported you told us that you repeatedly kicked Daniel, called him very harsh names and also cheered on other boys when they were hitting him. This behaviour is completely unacceptable and you need to face the consequences. The punishment that I believe is suitable is immediate suspension. It will be decided at the next governor's meeting whether you will be let back into school, or if you are to be expelled at Stonewater's secondary school. I believe that is all I came here to discuss" he stands up. "thank you for the tea, Mrs Lester. I will leave now" My mother and Mr Yamanaka walk to the door, and my mother shuts it after him. "What have you done Phil?" she asks quietly, tears rolling down her face. "I thought you were a good boy. What did I do wrong? Why did you bully that poor boy?" she clutches the rail of the staircase. "Mum, I swear, I didn't do any of that" I tell her, but she knows I'm lying. "Get out of my house, Phil. At least until I've gotten my head round this. Thank God your father isn't here to see this." I nod, and walk to the front door, understanding that she needs some space. It must be hard to take in the fact that your son is a bully. I hover at the door, wondering if I should comfort her or not. I decide to leave. I know where I'm going. I'm going to Dan's house, the only place I can go right now. As I walk down the street, I think back to the last time I was there. It's weird. I was only there around 30 minutes ago, yet it felt longer. So much has happened in the past few hours. I beat up Dan, I fell in love with Dan, I was suspended from school and I was visiting Dan for the second time. As I reach his house, I notice there is no car in the driveway. Good. That means his parents aren't home. I knock on the door. No reply. I ring the door bell. No reply. "Dan! Are you home?" I shout through the letter flap. No reply. I push on the door handle, and it's unlocked. I know this is wrong, entering someone else's house, but me and Dan need to talk. I check the living room and kitchen, but he's not there. This is strange. Then again, he might have gone with his parents. I make my way upstairs. As I get closer to the top, I can smell a tangy scent of metal. I turn at the top of the stairs and see Dan. On the floor of the bathroom. Surrounded by a large pool of blood. "Dan" I whisper, placing a hand to my mouth. "Dan, no," I realise the blood is coming from his wrists. I didn't know he self-harmed. I walk over to him and drop to my knees, hovering my hand over his body, not sure what to do. I remember our kiss and I cry. I cry and I cry and I cry. "Dan, please, no" I sob, holding his hand.

*** DUN DUN DUUUN! im sorry this is so sad, I know this isn't very good, but it's 12pm and its school tomorrow so you'd better be fucking grateful. anyway, comment or vote if possible! stay rad <3 ***

Update:

im sure Dan has really nice parents its just the story line okay don't kill me