It takes pain to see the light.

The day after the world changed

Next day: 

Walk into school. First person I see is the last person I want to see, him. The reason for my heartache. His face shows no expression. No guilt. I can't breathe. I sit on the seat and it takes all my will not to cry until i am truely empty. But I can't show him this side of me. I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. No matter how much I need to let it all out I just can't. Just when I think that my friends will be there for me I see them, Standing there. Talking to him like it's no big deal. Then I realize. I have no-one to talk to. No-one to tell how i'm really feeling. So I just keep it all bottled up until one day I explode and nothing will be able to calm me down. 

Standing with my other friends. They are saying he will realize his mistake. Then a person from his year comes up and says "I heard, stupid boy, so how do you feel about his new girl?" I freeze. Look her straight in the eye and say: " What the f**k did you just say to me?" She has a look of surprise on her face, "Well you did know about his new girlfriend right? Uhh right?" I glare at her, then it dawns on me. It's really over. I half scream and run for it. Run to my hiding spot. I cry my eyes out. This can't be happening. But it is. And I have to deal with it. Everyone will call me a wimp. Maybe that is true but I can't deal with this. Not now. So what do I do, I hide my emotions away from everyone. I think to myself it can't be that bad. But that's not true. It is that bad for me atleast. Surely it can't get any worse... 

I stand there all alone, but no-one comes to see me. I dont have anyone that cares about me. With the things at home and now this. I dont know where to turn. The bell rings. I stand up and walk towards my maths class. All my friends saying that he will be back for me soon and everything will be ok. But how is it ok? he broke up with me.. over the phone, because he "fell in love" with a girl four years younger than him. I bet his parents dont approve. Seeing him miserable wont help me feel better but it will show him how i feel. I cant cry. Somehow my pain has to go away another way...