Reticent

Chapter Fourteen; hot chocolate

|| please read AN at the end||

"I probably did over react, but I had a reason to." I tell my old friend from high school, over the phone. "He just stood there and lied to me." I scoffed and tapped the ashes of my cigarette.

"He might've been protecting you." She suggested. I took into consideration that we haven't talked for a long time while we kind of lived our own lives. But I was so desperate to talk to someone, she was the first person that came to mind. Other than Harry, she was my best friend. She never let me down and she was always there to listen.

"Protecting me from what?" I scoff again. I stick the cigarette between my lips and take a deep inhale of the toxins.

"The truth." She said simply. "He's never been the kind of guy to cheat, Taylor."

"People change." I tell her.

"Not Harry." Selena said. "I went through the same thing and I recently discovered he actually wasn't cheating. Did you even hear him out?" She asked.

"No!" I shouted. "I knew it would be lies. This woman has been coming in and out of our house for god knows how long, she's been contacting his family, she came to my work, and Harry still acts like he doesn't know a thing." I point out.

"She's a psycho bitch, Taylor! You can't blame your husband for another persons problem." She fought. I took another drag of my cigarette and pushed out the smoke, flicking it to the parking lot in front of me. The girls finally fell asleep a few hours ago and I've been standing outside, wondering what to do.

"He obviously knows her." I say.

"Who cares?!" She yells through the phone. "You need to chill out, okay. Walking out, taking the girls with you, and leaving him alone? That's an over reaction! You need to calmly talk this out with him and find out why she's in your life." She says to me.

"I don't want to! I pout. "He keeps lying to me."

"Taylor! Listen to me!" She fights. "Go home. Talk to your husband. Make peace with him. We all have a past that we're not proud of." She brings up a good point. My stubbornness dislikes how right she is, but I quickly agree with her.

"I didn't think of it that way." I admit. "You're right, Selena. She's from his past. She doesn't-" I stop talking when the door to the patio slides open.

"Now quit smoking, go home to your man, and talk things out."

"How do you know I'm smoking?" I laugh.

"Any time shit gets stressful, you buy a pack and call me." I can hear her laugh.

"Mom?" Avery asks.

"What's up, sweetie?" I ask.

"Can we go home yet? The beds smell like ass." She says.

"Avery!" I scold her language. She shrugs and walks back inside. "I'll talk to him." I say to Selena. We talk a bit longer about what's been going on in our lives. After we're caught up with each other, we say our byes and arrange a time where we are going to hang out.

I walk back into the hotel room, seeing Becca and Avery sitting together with their legs tangled up together. I ask if they are ready to go home, which makes them jump out of the bed with excitement.

On the drive home, I thought about my mom. I remember my sixteenth birthday with her. We spent the whole day together. She bought me gifts here and there, we laughed the entire time in the car, and we bonded over the smallest things. It wasn't a lavish day filled with expensive gifts and a giant party, but it was a regular day spent with my mom.

I miss her too much to be going down memory lane. If my mom were still alive, she would probably help me with so many problems that I've had since she passed. Even if she didn't a solution, she still would've sat me down and listened while she made me hot chocolate.

"Mom?" Avery called from the back seat, dragging me out of my thoughts. "You passed our street." She said. I looked around us and saw that we were in a different neighborhood.

When we finally got home, I sent the girls straight to bed. Harry was asleep on the couch, with his head leaning on his arm that was perched up on the armrest. I tapped him awake and told him I was home.

"Taylor," he sighed with relief and wrapped his arms around my waist. He stood up from the couch and hugged me so tightly, I felt my rib age touch my spine. "I'm so sorry." He apologized and let me go.

"It's late, Harry. We should get to bed." I told him. I grabbed his hand and walked us to bed, not worrying about where I left my phone or if I shut the door all the way. I felt so exhausted. Not just because of what happened tonight or anything, my body just felt tired for the last few days.

When we got inside the room, both of us undressed and put on our pajamas. I asked Harry if he could check the house to make sure everything got turned off and all the doors got locked. When he came back, I had finished rubbing moisturizer on my arms, which made Harry comment on the smell.

"I should've told you about Kate sooner." Harry said after the lights were shut off and we got settled in bed.

"What?" I asked, my eyes still closed.

"I told you about her too late. I should've told you when I met her." He says.

"What is there to tell me?" I asked, opening my eyes.

"That I knew her."

"You're not obligated to tell me everything, babe." I tell him. I find his face in the dark and cup his cheek. "In this case, I am." He grabs my hand with his, rubbing his thumb around on the back of my hand. I felt him move and then the light in his nightstand turned on. I sat up, watching Harry get out of bed and towards our dresser. He reached for his wallet that was on top and pulled out a crumbled up piece of paper.

He handed it to me, a frown on his face. "Why." I sigh and grab the note from his hand. "Why did you lie to me?" I asked, afraid to open the paper folded in fours.

He didn't answer. I unfolded the paper and saw small writing. "You told me I was beautiful." I read, almost in tears. "You told me I was special to you. How could you leave me for her? You told me you didn't love her anymore." I stop reading and feel my throat tighten. "How-" I stopped, trying my hardest not to cry. I folded the note back up, not wanting to read anymore.

"Taylor," Harry sat on the bed, his back facing me.

"You told me you loved me, even when we weren't together." I said, not looking his direction. "You told her you didn't love me."

"I thought if I told myself I didn't enough times, it would be true." He frowned.

I stared into his sad eyes, wondering why I'm so upset about it. "I just wish you would've told me." I frown, choosing to make amends with the situation. "It's late. Let's get some rest."

|| so I'm going through a break up with my best friend and there are no songs to listen to. Does anyone have any suggestions??||