TMR FanFic: Newt

WICKED IS GOOD

the cold air was blowing harshly against the back of my neck as I kept my eyes on the screens, for two years I've watched him, for five years I've been in love with him. It pains me that I have to sit here everyday & watch him knowing that he has no memory of me. I hate this job, but really what else could I do ? The world is different & harsh , no where to run , no where to go. The only thing I can do is sit here & try to make sure he's safe. As safe as he could be in there .

There was the day when I cried to the point where my chest couldn't take it anymore and I passed out . The day he wanted to kill himself, It hurt me so much because there was nothing I could do about it just watch and let my world die with him. A miracle did happen in that wretched maze and he lived. I don't like just sitting here & watching those scientist throw the grievers at them but WICKED is good. WICKED has a purpose.

We sent Thomas into the maze yesterday. Before he got sent down I hugged him & whispered in his ear that if he could ever recall this moment to tell Newt that I loved him. In the result of course he didn't remember, how could he ? he didn't even remember his own surname. I walk the cold hall ways without purpose, all I have is memories of when walks down these icy corridors did have purpose.

I Sometimes just sit down and rest my back on the walls & try not to cry recalling the moments we shared here. There is no more room for any sign of weakness in this world anymore.

I can't show anyone how truly weak I am, I was supposed to get down with the other group at the start of it , one of the first to be in the other maze. I don't still know why they didn't send me , but of course I didn't complain. All I wanted at the moment was to remember Newt and for him to remember me.

As always we don't get what we wish for and they took him away from me.

I close my eyes and flash back to our last day together.

I was awake in my cot, it squeaked when i moved around. I got up , rubbed my eyes & opened my door to see Newt about to knock. No words were exchanged between us for a what seemed an eternity. He extended his hand & took mine into his. We ran down the hall in our pajamas & didn't stop until reaching the hall that I sit in now. I looked out the window to see the pouring rain followed by numerous lightning strikes that seemed too close & then I looked up at him. He was smiling , laughter trying to bubble out of his pale thin lips. I threw myself on top of him embracing all of him that I could. Tears started fighting their way onto my cheeks trailing a path to my lips. He looked down at me moving strands of hair out of my face. "Don't bloody cry now Jenifer, don't you dare make me cry " he said softly . "I'm going to miss that most of all" I told him . His face showed confusion so I further explained "the way you curse, I don't know why but its soothing to me" . He laughed and bent his knees so we were at eye level. "Bloody Hell do you ever get red ? Even after that long run your skin is still brown, your always the same never changing " I remember that at first I was slightly offended by this.

I had always had problems with other people due to my ethnicity and skin color I just never thought that he would care about those things. I know that he clearly saw the look I had on my face because he responded "blimey, no that is not what I meant , there is noting wrong with that, I was just trying to say...."

"It's okay Newt, I know what you meant " I said looking up at him attempting to smile. "What am I going to do without you? " I continued. "I'll see you again , & don't doubt that because I will" he said. I bit the inside of my cheeks I highly believed that I wouldn't see him again, and if I did he wouldn't remember me. I went to hug him again but instead he just took my hand into his and we walked farther down the dark hallway.