A/N Sorry, accidentally wrote some of this in present. I did fix it but there still might be a few errors here and there. It would amazing if you could point them out! But, without anymore ramble, here's chapter 2!
Sara breathed in before she breathed out again. She relished in the feeling of her lungs inhaling and exhaling the heavy, close air. At least that, she knew, wouldn't stop. Not for a while, at least. Although, whilst she said that, that time might have been closer than she thought.
And, with a sudden realisation, she realised that her breathing was something lost to her only days before. Suddenly, the air was no longer calming but threatening. The inhalation was acceptation, one she was not yet willing to give and holding the breath only brings up memories of a time better forgotten.
She knew no harm was meant to her but as he fingers curl around her neck, she found that she didn't care. It hurt nonetheless. She didn't want to blame and become a victim but she found herself justified in doing so.
Sara found breathing hard now and even with the window open to clear her mind, she found nothing in the outside air. Nor did she find anything from the endless knocking at the door: something she had been ignoring for far too long now. No doubt that it was Viktor on the other side of the door. He was relentless in everything he did and it seemed his mind was set on helping.
Sara didn't need help. She needed to think- even if it brought her pain. Because if she could think, she could clear away the mess that was her thought pattern and make sense of all that was happening.
Another hour did not do that. The knocking didn't stop.
'I'm not going to open the door, Viktor! Can you please stop knocking!' She shouted through the door, her voice strained. Viktor's knocking only became worse. Viktor didn't speak, he didn't make a sound. He just continued to knock.
Sara wasn't even sure if it was him anymore.
'Sara, please.' Came a wary voice, Viktor's. Frail Viktor's. Sara had never heard his voice like that since...since, well, his mother had died. What was grave enough now to get him to sound like that. And then, Sara realised.
Sara realised her mistake.
Sara realised that she wasn't the only one hurting right now.
Viktor's mother, before she left, had locked herself in her office and hung herself. Her last words scrawled across a piece of paper saying she wished someone had saved her. A disgusting way to provoke guilt. They all knew that she didn't mean it in that way.
That didn't mean Viktor had taken it any lighter. She wasn't there to tell him what she meant. He could never know. And, as Sara got up from her chair, she realised just what she had done. Locked herself inside her office and scrawled words on paper.
What Viktor didn't know was that it was just work. She wanted to assure him of that but she only could if she opened the door. She only had one choice, even if she didn't want to.
'What do you want?' She sighed, motioning the hunched boy inside. He sat on the floor, his back curving awkwardly but he still stood with grace. He smiled, seemingly delighted at the opening of the door. Sara gave him what could only be an apology with her lips, the edges quirking up into a pitiful smile.
'I want to know what happened, Sara. I've never seen you like this before.' He spoke softly as if afraid to scare her. She was vulnerable, maybe it was the right thing to do but it only made Sara feel weak, weaker than she already was.
'Like what?' Sara asked, spite evident in her voice. Her walls were crumbling, she was doing everything she could to reinforce them.
'Like this!' Viktor insisted, worry as evident on his face as her spite. He approached her as she leant against her desk, her legs crossed. 'Like you've just lived your nightmares.' Viktor's soft voice had broken through. A stray tear found its way down her cheek; Viktor was the one to wipe it away.
'I'm fine.' She said. It didn't make the statement any truer. Her walls were already down, she was hiding in plain sight.
'No you're not, Sara. You can tell me anything, you know that, right?' He asked, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. With the urge to shake it off, she spoke- her voice unstable and shaky. 'I do know but this isn't a story I can tell, okay? Just tell everyone I'm okay. I'm just going to get some work done and go home in an hour.' Sara felt nervous. She wanted him to leave. She couldn't be in his presence, not like this. And although the lie felt thick on her tongue, it was a partial truth and would be enough to drive Viktor away.
She almost whooped with joy when the man hesitantly backed out of the door, giving her one last worried lock before shutting it firmly behind him. She sighed, loudly and gladly. The smile on her face never appeared. The quirk of her lips would be all too painful.
She moved to her chair again, leaning back as far as she could until it felt comfortable enough to sleep in. Despite the still rather large pile of work on her desk, she ignored it in favour of closing her eyes- sleep pulling her in like sweets portrayed to a child.
I'm a mess, aren't I? She thought as he mind began to power off and her thoughts beginning to blur. She laughed humourlessly. Yes, she confirmed, I'm a mess. There was nothing else needed to be said. She was alone, after all. All she needed was rest. Yes, that would fix everything. Right?
No.
A night didn't fix a thing. If anything, it made it worse. Sara had nowhere to stay and nowhere to hide. But did she really need to hide? Hiding seemed a little too drastic. Yet, she felt the need to. She felt the need to hide from the world; lock her office door and never come out.
But, she couldn't. She had a life to live. A rather pointless one, she thought, but a life nonetheless. There was no point wasting time thinking life was pointless when she could just get on with it. At least that would be living a bit.
It was too late to lock her office door anyway, though. Sleep had grabbed her exhausted body and with her arms now making a comfortable, make-shift pillow, she fell asleep at her desk, hoping the next day would be better.
word count: 1115
published: 28.06.17
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Burden ✄ MilaSara
Fanfiction'''these mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb,, Sara was meant to keep a secret. She couldn't. She was supposed to carry the burden. She failed. She was supposed to do a lot of things. Sara never did. Mila was the only on...
