The Fractured Ones

2. Gush Mania

Rae//

I usually always have something to say, but my breath was literally taken away from how amazing Finn looked. How could he have gotten lusher than yesterday? His black t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, his hair just looks messier than usual. His delicious denim jeans that make his arse look chewabl----

"RAE? Tell them what you were saying! I'm right aren't I?" Chloe asked, her eyes were just begging me to agree with her. I guess she didn't want to seem too innocent around the guys, or too 'frigid'. Which is what I'm trying to get past.

"Yeah I mean, just because virgins haven't had sex, doesn't mean that they're not craving it" I felt my cheeks heat up a little bit. How am I saying this all around him?

I could just feel his eyes piercing through the left side of my face. I hadn't even realized he'd sat down beside me. He just smiled and gave a nod.

"Hey Rae, how are ya?"

"Fine, yourself?" I smiled

I couldn't even hear what he was saying. My ears are pounding. Oh no, my heart is on the verge of bursting. I can't die now. In a PUB?! What about, surrounded by my grand kids on my deathbed? If I just collapse now, what will the doctor even say? Oh, Rachel Earl has just suffered from the flucuation of her hormones and can't be near any good looking lad or else she might die? Imagine that, being seperate from Finn forever. All because I died right here, right now.

"...and then I just decided, why not just put Babylon Zoo on the CD? Her face was priceless" Finn started to clap his hands whilst laughin.

"Aw Raemundo, don't like a bit of Spaceman? Well I guess we can't be mates then" Chop said jokingly.

"Well that's okay, I wouldn't want a friend who has crap taste in music anyway so, you can piss off Chop....undo" I was on such a roll, then that little nickname I gave him was one of the most horrid things I've ever said in me life.

There was a silence among the gang.

All of a sudden there were bursts of laughter coming from everyone. Phew, I guess that was okay. I shouldn't overthink about the things I say. They are all really nice people. Being with them makes me happy.

"Alright, so I wanted to bring you guys all here today to tell ya..." Archie started.

"What? You're gonna come out twice? Is that a gay thing?" Chop asked. He is still settling in from when Archie came out to everyone last week. We were all proud of Archie, it's just Chop has never known anyone who was gay. So I guess he's curious at times, even though it may come out rude.

"No, it is not a gay thing. I was wondering, since my parents won't be home, if everyone wanted to come by my house next week? You know, right before college starts we could have like a massive party then just sleep over at my house, yeah?"

He lifted his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose waiting for our answers.

"Finally! I been waiting for a fuckin' good snog for a while, good lookin' out mate" Said a very horny Chop.

Izzy's face just lit up when Chop mentioned snogging, I can see the gears moving in her head right now. She is planning to make her move on Chop at Archie's party, get in Izzy!

As for me, I need to do a little bit of planning myself, perhaps a new outfit? Or actually wearing makeup for once? I need to do something to impress Finn, you could only be friends with your crush for so long, and I'm getting impatient.

"So, Rae I was wondering, you thinking about going to college?" Finn asked in the lowest voice he could. Even while mentioning college, I was still turned on.

"Uh yeah, I thought about it. Kester said it would be a good change for me, being in a different environment and all that"

"I just want you to know, if you need anything, you can ask me, alright?" He lifted his eyebrows and gave me that reassuring smile, meaning that he will definitely be there for me no matter what.

"Mhm. I will, thanks Finn"

Finn was the first person out of the gang who'd known I was ill. Only because we ran into each other at the hospital one night while he was visiting his grandmother. He was shocked at first, but after I had explained more, he was really sweet and understanding. I thought he would treat me like some delicate flower afterwards, but he remained the same. Which is only one of the list of many things I love about him.

"I mean it, yeah? If you need help with your way around, coursework, anything. I will be there." Finn said that a little too loudly, because Chop had the widest grin on his face.

"Aye? Finny boy's going to be Raemundo's body guard at college! If you're going to protect her like that, you might as well go home with her!"

Finn just rolled his eyes and chuckled, then looked over to me. I just gave him a smile.

Oh how I wish he was my twenty-four hour bodyguard. Thanks for giving me new ideas, Chop.

"Rae. Iz and I want to go shopping for the party tomorrow, you want to come?" Chloe asked, batting her eyelashes.  

She knows my Mum won't let me go anywhere anymore. After that rave, she was really angry and disappointed in me. Even though we've made up, she still has trust issues. My luck.

"But Chloe," I whined, dragging her name, "you know what happened with my Mum"

"Yes but, how else will you find sexy clothes for the party, Rae?"

Just like that, right after Chloe said sexy, I saw a head turn towards our direction. It was Finn. As we made eye contact he looked away, staring at the clock on the wall. Little does he know that I saw the watch on his wrist, jokes on you Finny.

Was it because he's protective and doesn't want me to dress like a slag? Or was it because...no it couldn't be.

Could it?

Could Finn secretly and desperately want to go sexy clothes shopping with us?

Nah.

"I guess I can just ask my Mum really nicely" I said blandly, knowing that my Mum is definitely not in the mood for anything at the moment.

Chloe 'yeeped' and gave me a bear hug. I guess I can now say that we're best mates. We've been through a lot. We were selfish regarding both of our feelings and insecurities. I always hated myself because I was mad and fat. Chloe hated herself because she thought she was worthless and not good enough for anything. But I could tell that there is something else that is up with her. Something that she is not telling me.

"I was thinking," Finn started "Since Archie's car can only fit five people, how else will we get to his flat?"

"You have a scooter don't yah mate? Two people on your scooter and everyone else in the car, sorted" Chop suggested.

What I would do to be the passenger on Finn's scooter, at least I would be doing one form of 'riding' with him. If you know what I mean.

"Alright sure. Rae, you want to go on the scooter with me?" 

What?! That is not even a question! Obviously! Oh my God. 

I really need to settle down because all of these thoughts in my head should not be said out loud.

"Okay, but just make sure that you have a proper mixtape this time!" I said, remembering the Spaceman incident.

"Don't worry, I have all of Babylon Zoo's songs on one CD, you're going to love it" He smiled and brushed his hand over my shoulder.

And with that, I decided that I really have to impress Finn at this party. I need to find the perfect outfit and possibly... lingerie? Hm, maybe not that far.