Trying Not To Love You

Trying Not To Love You (12)

                Letting out a frustrated sigh, I run a hand through my blond locks of hair as I sat in front of my mirror. In front of me showed a girl with black panda eyes and dark red lips, along with her “bad girl” pouty face. Guess who that girl is? Me: a total unattractive teenage girl who scares off guys.

                How the hell was I supposed to make Hayden fall for me when I look like this? My pale skin and my light blond hair don't go well together. They made me look too light and gentle, though my dark make-up made up for that. I wonder if Hayden ever found me attractive, though I doubted it with all of my heart that wasn't shattered.

                I’m sure as hell that I wasn’t going to dress the way that I did before. I was all pink and bright, though that was before Quinn came along. It wasn’t her fault that I turned all monstrous like a beast, it was Eric’s. Stupid man had to get me drunk and get me knocked up. He could’ve at least stayed out of jail and help the baby! Damn him.

                A knock on my bedroom door brings me out of my bullying trance. Pushing myself off of the seat in front of my mirror, I saunter across my room and quietly open my bedroom door, not wanting to disturb my mother. She didn’t need to see me repeat my girl phase all over again. That would be unnecessary.

                Dani stood on the other end, a frown on her face and her school bag slung over her shoulders. “You called for me?”

                “Yep,” I say, popping the ‘p’. I motion for her to take a seat on my bed. Closing the door behind her, I resume taking my seat at the mirror in an un-ladylike slouch. “I need help.”

                “You need help with what?” she asks, observing some of my nail polish and dark make-up across my messy dresser.

                “I need help bumping up my wardrobe and being a tad bit more girly to attract more guys.”

                Dani’s eyes nearly bulge out of their head. Why was that too shocking? “I knew you were in need of a father but I didn’t think you’d stoop this low.” Dani grumbles, shaking her head at me.

                “No, no, no,” I immediately add, not wanting her to think I was desperate. Dani looks at me to continue with my explanation. Here we go; I’m going to have to explain everything that I regret doing with Hayden in the bathroom yesterday. “Hayden and I made a bet.”

                “Why? When did this suddenly happen?”

                Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I keep my gaze on the floor so I wouldn’t have to stare into her intimidating eyes. Gosh, what has Hayden done to me? What the heck did he do to make my intimidated by people, especially my best friend?

                I then confess, “Hayden and I made out yesterday in the bathroom.”

                Dani nearly screeches to the top of her lungs, “Wha—?!” but I hold my hand up to stop her from protesting before I finish.

                “I know I let my guard down, but I didn’t realize that until we kissed. Then, Hayden said he could make me fall in love with him before I do the same to him, and I accepted his challenge. If I win, he wouldn’t bother me again. If he wins, then I’m going to have to proclaim my love for him in front of the whole school.”

                I look up to meet Dani’s eyes. Her tongue was pressed against the inside of her cheek. She started to click her tongue repeatedly at me. “That must suck,” I nod in agreement. “And you accepted this bet?”