Descent (Dysmorphia Series #2)

Accident & Emergency

She had never felt so detached from her life, like somebody had severed her heart and wrenched it from her chest, her brain screamed that this was really happening whilst her heart broke into tiny splinters.

Cole had been in the operating theatre for three hours, she had smashed her phone against the wall in the second hour, sick and tired of hanging up calls that she would never answer, she didn't want to speak to her parents, or to Cooper, or to Natalie, the only person she wanted to speak to right now, who she knew would make things better was Chase.

But then came a bedraggled figure, walking down the corridor like she was in pain and Florence realised that there was someone she wanted to see.

Charlie.

Charlie didn't look so model-like today, she looked like her life was crumbling before her very eyes.

And then she realised that she was so not alone in her pain, Charlie had been close to both brothers and lost one without even knowing.

They didn't say anything, they didn't have to, Charlie collapsed onto the seat next to her and leant her head on her shoulder, she reached for her hand and squeezed it, with the little energy she had left Florence squeezed back.

"He'll be okay Florence, he's a fighter just you remember that"

She wanted to remember that, wanted to believe that but in her experience wishing something wouldn't happen didn't mean it didn't happen.

But having someone there, someone who she knew shared every single shred of the anguish she was experiencing helped her keep the most precious thing she could have at this moment, her sanity.

All those unspoken words, all those things she wished she could have told Cole suddenly flooded her mind.

Like how he wasn't a burden in her life, not a duty, she wasn't giving him a home and trying to help him because she had to, it was because she wanted to. He and Chase might have been different in so many ways, but at their very core they were the same.

The both of them were caring, thoughtful, kind and weren't afraid to tell her things she didn't want to hear.

Chase had helped her in so many ways, to overcome her self-hatred, to be strong and she couldn't help thinking that there was more to him telling her to save Cole than met the eye, it was like he had known once he was gone she wouldn't be able to go on unless she had something else to focus her life on, in saving Cole she was saving herself.

She sent Chase a million thank you's at that moment.

Florence had never been a particularly religious person but she prayed with all her being that Cole would be okay, that nothing bad would happen to him.

A shattered looking Doctor came through the door, looking like he had completed a marathon, his expression was unreadable, she'd told the doctors in the ambulance that Cole was her next of kin, her brother as it was the only way to ensure that she could stay with him.

"Miss Roberts" he greeted her, Charlie didn't bat an eyelid she seemed to realise immediately that she would have to keep up this charade if they were going to be allowed to stay there.

"You might want to sit down, I'm Dr Chandra" Florence sat down, Charlie hadn't moved a muscle.

"From what we know so dar Cole has suffered two broken ribs, a sprained wrist, a broken leg and brain trauma"

She took a deep breath, okay most of that sounded fixable, the brain trauma part did make her flinch, Charlie continued to squeeze her hand, grounding her.

"Okay" her voice was a rasp.

"Unfortunately, the brain trauma has left him in a comatose state, he's stable as far as we can tell but with coma's its hard to monitor a person's mental state, however given what we know though the outcome could be unpredictable but he could make a full recovery"

Charlie began to cry.

Florence however felt numb, Cole was in a coma.

A coma.

A coma.

A coma was something that was left to chance, you either woke up or you didn't.

She was going to lose him, she was going to lose him just like she had lost Chase and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Her complete uselessness made her want to curl up in a ball and sob for an eternity, she couldn't' stop any of this happening.

"Can I see him?" she found herself stuttering.

Dr Chandra nodded then looked at Charlie.

"Sorry, only the next of kin can visit"

Florence followed him into a room that smelled like the clinic, this was happening all over again, both the Robert's boys were going to be lost to her.

Cole looked like a small child surrounded by machines, plugged in to life support machines, feeding machines... machines that were keeping him alive, keeping his heart beating because he couldn't do it himself.

His eyes were tightly closed, like they'd been super glued together, like he'd seen enough of the world and didn't want to see it anymore.

She walked over slowly, like if she stepped down to hard on the floor she would somehow break him more than he was already broken, the strange thing was that his face was almost unscathed apart from a small cut above his lip it looked like he could have been sleeping.

His heavily bandaged limbs told another story, as did the snowy coating wrapped around his head.

This was her fault.

If she hadn't invited him over, if she'd done more to diffuse the tension at the dinner table, if she'd just reassured him more that he was more than a brother to someone she had loved.

She loved him.

Thats what she realised in that moment, she didn't know in what way, it was a desperate kind of realisation that she couldn't live without him, she didn't know how she was going to return to an empty flat without his snarky comments or burnt toast or complete unwillingness to co-operate with her.

He was the utter opposite of Chase but that almost seemed like a good thing, had he been like Chase being near him would have been painful.

She leant down and kissed his forehead and then sat down on the chair next to him, perhaps this was her repaying Chase, he had sat by her at her worst moments and here she was sitting by his brother, watching over him and sitting beside him, holding his hand and telling him that everything was going to be okay.

Because sometimes that's what people needed, someone who would always be there for them, by there side and never wavering in their belief in them.

She believed in the broken boy lying on the bed.