My 30 Day Challenge

Chapter 8

Vic found me in the bathroom that evening. I’d found a pencil sharpener in someone’s room - I didn’t know or care whose - and removed the blade, cutting my wrists several times. Nothing too serious, I just wanted to let out my emotions.

I was sitting in my room, leaning against the bed, when he came in without knocking, and caught me examining my bleeding wrists with tears running down my face.

'Hey, Kellin - what the hell?'

I started to panic. He knew. He knew he knew he knew. No one was supposed to find out. I’d end up the same way I did back home. 

'Kellin are those - did you cut yourself?' he asked slightly more calmly, hurrying over to me to take my arms. I couldn't do anything, couldn't say anything. How are you supposed to answer that kind of question?

'Come on, let's clean this up,' he said, quickly leaving. By the time he got back I'd added another 5 to my upper arm. I couldn't believe he'd found out. I was so stupid! I was going to get beat up again, and I wouldn't be able to escape it, I lived with him! What would he say?  Oh my god -

'Give me your arm,' he murmured, sitting down next to me. When I didn't move, he took it and started wiping away the blood gently, trying not to hurt me. After he'd finished, he bandaged it up, and moved over to my other side, starting on that one.

'Why are you doing this?' I whispered hoarsely. I didn't get it; no one had ever helped me, and I certainly hadn't done anything to deserve his help.

'Maybe because you need my help. Does this have anything to do with why you've moved in here, by the way?' he said. I nodded miserably.

'We'll talk about that later. For now, just get some sleep, okay? Talk to Mike and I tomorrow.' Next thing I knew I was being stood up and tucked into bed. 

I slept well that night, which was odd. It felt good, though, actually getting a decent night’s sleep. I remembered what had happened the evening before, and immediately felt sick. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up the contents of my stomach. Apparently Vic heard, and came rushing in to hold my stupidly long hair back. Honestly, I was surprised people didn’t think I was a girl.

'Kellin, what are we going to do with you?' he sighed.

When I was done, he walked me back to my room, sat me down on my bed, and said ‘I’ll be back.’ A few moments later, he returned with Mike, who looked equally concerned.

'Alright Kellin. You're living with us now, which means we need to include you in our family. I think the two of you have some explaining to do, yeah?' Mike asked. Vic looked about as uncomfortable as I felt. Unwillingly, I nodded, as did he. 'We have the house to ourselves today, Mom and Dad have gone out with the neighbours for lunch.

After a few tense moments, Vic spoke up.

'Fine. I'm… I've been… diagnosed… with… bipolar disorder. That's why I was at the cliff yesterday. I was.. I guess you'd say having an episode. I hadn't taken my medication in a while, and I was feeling worse than I ever had, and needed to get away. I'm fine now, though. Your turn,' Vic finished quickly, looking embarrassed.

'Well, uh, I tried to…' admitting attempted suicide is harder than you'd think. '…You know. End it. And, well, it didn't work, my mom found me, and I got put in hospital. Then she…' I started to cry again. 'She sent me away.'

They both looked shocked. ‘But… if this is a stupid question, I’m sorry, Kellin, but why did you want to do that?’

'Because I'm a waste of space,' I said matter-of-factly.

'No, you're not, Kellin. You're a great guy,' Mike said sharply. 'I have literally known you for two days, and you have not done a single thing to make me think you're a waste of space.'

'Look, you don't understand, okay? I just… I can't explain this. I'm out,' I snapped. With that, I headed out the door, down the street, and to God knows where.