My 30 Day Challenge

Chapter 12

AN: Just to be clear, this is not all of day three - it will be continued in the next chapter.

Day 3: What is your motivation to recover?

When I didn’t come out of the bathroom, Vic decided it would be a good idea to unscrew the door from its hinges and come in and get me. Somehow, I slept through the entire thing, and when he’d seen that I was okay, only sleeping, he had apparently picked me up and carried me to my room, where I woke up the next morning.

Today was Wednesday, the day of my next session at Sacred Heart. I was not looking forward to it. Dr Dawson was a tool, and I didn’t want to be there. Plus I would be attending my first group session, which I also didn’t want to do. Who the hell wants to spend four hours with other people who are just as fucked up as you are? I have my own shit to deal with; I didn’t want theirs, and I sure as hell didn’t want them knowing mine.

Not long after I woke up, Vivian came to my door telling me we’d be leaving in an hour, so I should get ready. As she closed the door, I noticed there was another note on it, probably from Vic. I sighed, knowing what it would say.

Kellin

I am so, so sorry about yesterday. Are you okay? I didn’t know you would react like that, and I swear to God I did not want to hurt you on purpose.

Yeah right.

I’ll tell you today’s question in the car to school, yeah? Mike spent the night at a friend’s.

Vic

No, he wouldn’t, because I wouldn’t be at school.

Shuffling into the bathroom, trying not to wake anyone, I turned on the shower and stood under the warm water. Looking down at my abdomen, I saw that the fresh cuts were slightly shallower than I’d expected, or even intended. I frowned. Why would that be? Shrugging it off, I carried on with my morning.

Upon my arrival at Sacred Heart, I discovered that they ran things differently, and that I’d be having a different psychologist every week, pretty much. I didn’t read too much into that; I didn’t care enough.

Sure enough, when I went to the office I was in last time, the nameplace on the desk read Dr Jardine, and sitting behind the desk was the very woman who got me sent here.

‘Kellin!’ she exclaimed, standing up and coming around from behind her desk to sit on it instead. ‘I wasn’t expecting you yet.’

I glanced at the clock; it told me that I was a few minutes early. ‘Sorry.’

‘It’s fine, just gives us a bit more time to talk,’ she said cheerily. Great. I sat down, and waited for the onslaught to begin. ‘So, Kellin. How do you like San Diego so far? My cousin lives here, and he says the weather is so amazing it’s unreal.’

I shrugged non-committally. ‘It’s okay. I don’t particularly like the sun.’

‘What? How can you not like the sun?’ she cried. ‘It’s great!

‘I don’t know; I just don’t,’ I said cautiously. This was very different to my last session.

‘What, so you like the rain and clouds?’ she asked dubiously.

‘No.’

‘Then what weather do you like?’

‘Snow,’ was the answer that came instantly to mind.

‘Why on earth do you like snow?’ she looked betrayed, in a comical way.

I was 6. We were on holiday in Germany. It was Christmas day.