a night and forever

saudade

saudade
/souˈdädə/

noun

1. a deep, nostalgic, and melancholic longing for something or someone. often accompanied with a denied fact that what one longs for will never come back

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Yixing can't remember the last time he got a proper night's sleep. At this point, it just seems like it's something completely impossible to achieve.

And so he has his insomnia to blame for why he's currently sitting in the kitchen with Kyungsoo and Sehun. The topic of tonight's discussion is Kyungsoo and Chanyeol's not-quite-relationship. To be completely honest, Yixing's just glad that he's not getting teased about Baekhyun and that the focus is on the other couple for once.

Speaking of Baekhyun... Yixing hasn't gotten the chance to spend much time around him as of late. The only occasions they end up alone together is when they go to bed at night. But Baekhyun is usually asleep by the time Yixing comes in and gone by the time he wakes up. Yixing has a slight suspicion that Baekhyun might be avoiding him and the mere thought of that pains him. Granted—Baekhyun hasn't actually said anything about it—but Yixing can't help but feel like something's wrong. And that he's supposed to know what that something is.

The growing distance between him and Baekhyun feeds a deep-set yearning that just gets worse the longer Baekhyun avoids him.

"...Chanyeol is obviously crazy about you, hyung. For god's sake, he even wrote a song for you," Sehun is saying exasperatedly.

Kyungsoo just ignores the maknae and looks questioningly at Yixing, asking for his opinion.

Yixing who's deep in thought, doesn't even realize he's being addressed, "Hmm? Oh. Yeah—I have to agree with Sehunnie on this one. Poor Yeol is absolutely smitten with you Soo."

Kyungsoo just sighs frustratedly and rolls his eyes, "Well if he's serious about us, then why isn't he man enough to actually say something? It's not like I haven't been obvious about the fact that I like him back."

"Well—maybe you haven't been obvious enough? So he's really not  sure if you feel the same way and he's worried he'll mess things up between the two of you?" Yixing suggests.

Rolling his eyes again, Kyungsoo laughs bitterly, "You're such a hypocrite, hyung. You weren't even paying attention a second ago because you were too busy daydreaming about Baekhyun."

Oops. Yixing had rejoiced too soon when he'd thought that they were going to lay off on the Baekhyun teasing for one night.

Yixing splutters indignantly but before he can say anything Sehun interrupts, laughing gleefully at his hyung's discomfort—

"It's true! You always get this look on your face when you're thinking about Baek. It's painfully obvious. Chanyeol is nothing compared to you when it comes to being too cowardly to confess," Sehun says.

"I'm not a coward!" Yixing huffs.

"When it comes to Baekhyun you seem to lose all sense of everything," Sehun replies with an infuriating smirk.

Kyungsoo smiles slyly, "That's called love."

"For the last time, I'm not in love with Baekhyun!"

His obvious lie is met with deafening silence and knowing looks from both Sehun and Kyungsoo.

Sighing defeatedly, Yixing says, "I liked you both better when you weren't too smart for your own good."

"Pshh we've always been brilliant, hyung. And you love us just the way we are," Sehun says.