fuck it

texas

I haven't told anyone about this in the amount of detail im going to on here so if you know me irl here you go.....

also trigger warning. I am going to be talking about incest and rape so if those trigger you in anyway just don't read this.

so texas. well it wasn't all bad just 90% of it sucked ass. in my first 3 days there my cousin Austin raped me. so it was nearly 2 am Easter morning  and everyone else was asleep (everyone being Austin's mom Sherry, his dad Frank, and my Aunt and Uncle and their 5 kids). but Austin came downstairs and I didn't think anything of it when he sat down on the couch by my feet. I was still awake I was watching something on Netflix. so when he sat down I sat up and started to pet the dog but so did Austin and every so often he would brush his hand on mine. I didn't think anything of it till he grabbed my wrist and forced the dog off the couch and once she was off Austin pulled me over to him and I was fighting him but he is a lot stronger than me so he pulled me next to him and he started to rub me through my shorts. at this point I finally started to find my voice and I told him to stop but instead he pulled me on to his lap and made me start to grind and I felt him through my shorts then he started to kiss me. then he stood up and took me in to his room where he became a lot braver. He started to finger me and bite my neck. then he tried to get me to take my shirt off but I wouldn't let him so he smacked me then took off his pants and forced me to give him a blow job. If I tried to stop he would either pull my hair or choke me or smack me again. Then he pulled me so that I was straddling him and he started to penetrate me down there. He got bored of that or something and went back to making me give him a blow job but then, thankfully I thought, his mom walked in. She told me to go downstairs so I did. She talked to Austin for like 5 minutes then came downstairs and told me that it was my fault and that she can't have me in her house if I'm going to continue doing that (I still don't know what Austin told his mom) but to this day I have let everyone blame me and I haven't told anyone all that has happened until just now. I dont think I will ever tell my family what really happened but oh well.