baddie » e.d.

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it's been a week since Ethan ran out on me and i've been questioning everything. why did he kiss me? i don't know. was it not good? i hope not. did he regret it? maybe. did he feel anything? maybe. is he afraid that his reputation with be destroyed if he tells anyone that he kissed me? probably. 

ugh.

not only that, but he ignores me completely. i mean at this point, i would be happy if he made fun of me cause at least he would be acknowledging my presence.

on another note, i've been hanging out with Grayson a lot. he took me out on a date the other day and it was fun, but-

*flashback*

i saw a picnic basket and a blanket set up near the lake. cliche, but i thought it was cute how he tried. we sit down and eat while talking. 

i look at the view of the lake "wow this is beautiful" 

he smiles "not as beautiful as you"

again, cliche. but it makes me blush

he leans in most of the way and i lean in the rest, closing the gap. his lips are soft and i can tell he uses chapstick. but i don't really feel anything, like feeling wise. no sparks. no electricity. just a pair of lips on another pair of lips. lips on lips. and i can't help but compare it to Ethan's kiss. the only kiss that i've actually felt anything.

when we pull away i slap a smile on my face and act like i enjoyed it even though i was comparing him to his brother and his brother won.

none the less, we finish our date and i thank him for a wonderful day

*end of flashback*

Grayson is so sweet and Ethan is the complete opposite. and it's cliche to say that i fell in love with the 'bad boy' but i can't help it. and it's also cliche to say that there's something hidden below the surface but i still believe it. and if i don't believe in that, in him, then who will?

i make my way to their house, ready to sort this out. all of it.

~

i knock on the door and Ethan opens it. he looks at me for a second before calling for Grayson and walking away. i stand at the door, awkwardly, before i see Grayson appear before me. a smile instantly forms on his face and i give him a small smile back "um Grayson, can we talk?"

his big grin drops a little "uh sure. my room?"

i nod and follow him to his room. he sits on the bed and i join him.

"so what did you want to talk about?" he asks

"i uh...i don't want to keep leading you on. i'm sorry, but i didn't feel anything when we kissed and i would love to still be friends, only if you wanted to though" i ramble nervously

"yeah i would still like to be friends"

"really?"

he smiles at me "of course, bestie"

i laugh and hug him "thank you for understanding, Grayson"

"it's no problem, Dakota"

~

after chatting with Grayson more, i decide to talk to Ethan. i walk to him room and reach to knock on the door, but it's already open. i peak inside and don't see him.

i sigh and walk out of their house and towards mine. when i reach my house, i see someone with a mop of dark hair staring at their phone while sitting on the step of my porch.

i walk to my door and unlock it

"um, Dakota" a voice says

i turn around and look into his eyes "Ethan"

"yeah, can we talk?"

"sure" i answer and let him into my house

we sit on the couch and he scans my face "why were you talking to Grayson?"

"he's my bestfriend. why have you been ignoring me?"

he's quiet as he stares at the floor "i don't know"

"well please stop. i don't care if you make fun of me like you use to. i just want to at least be acknowledged by you"

he looks up at me and i notice a hint of shock flash across his face "you're mad because i haven't been paying attention to you?"

i nod

confusion consumes his face "why?"

"because i miss all teasing you. all our pet names for each other and you getting on my nerves. i miss hanging out with you and doing whatever we were doing. i just miss spending time with you"

his face hardens "no, you shouldn't miss me. you should be glad that i'm ignoring you. it's best if we don't talk to each other. we aren't friends and we certainly aren't anything more than that"

"it's okay to push me away. you can push me away all you want, but just you know Ethan Dolan, i won't stop trying to talk to you and get you to admit your feelings. because you're human and you have feelings"

he snickers "i don't have feelings, Dakota. and stay away from me cause you don't want to see what i see on a daily basis. you're too pure for that kind of stuff. you're too pure for me"

and with that, he was gone.