After Everything We've Been Through (Sequel to after newyork)

Thank You For The Last Six Years

Can I just say I've never been so nervous to publish a chapter then I have right now. My hearts racing and I have a million butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I hope you like the chapter, this is probably the chapter I've worked the hardest on and out put  the most thought into and how I wanted this book it end.

Dear Avery

That's where you say Lawson, I'm sorry for everything, the last six years and for right now. It's hard to resurface when there's no way up. I know you tried saving me but it didn't work this time, I wanted it to work so much but it didn't. I remember the day we meet and that was probably the best day of my life because that's when our  story started, but every story has its ending and this is ours. Tell Bailey I love her everyday and I'm sorry that I can't be there, please never forget how much I love you jack Avery and how you will always be the person to save me even if you couldn't save me this time.

I hope you find someone who can love you as much as I did and it's okay to find someone else because you deserve so much more then what I could have given you. Tell corbyn, Zach, Jonah, Daniel and Christina I love them and I'm sorry but I would have never been good enough for you or any of them, I will  always be broken and you need someone who isn't, you need someone who is everything I'm not and never could be.  I lift my ring, in the only place you would know where to look, you might not know where it is but you do know just really think. Where's the one spot we love the most and the one thing we did so much when we meet. You will always have a spot in my heart and in my life. I know you might not know why I did what I did and you didn't think everything was as bad as it was. But I got to the bottom of the ocean, the ocean I created filled with the tears that rolled down my cheek and that's filled with my pain. What happend to Bailey kinda just pushed me to the edge and I couldn't take it anymore.

I know you'll never understand why but I hope one day you can expect it and find peace with it, as I write this I think about the child we brought into this world together. I couldn't be happier with her, take good care of her and if she can sing, let her be proud of her voice, show her it's a gift and she should treasure it not through it away out of hate. Give her everything I can't, love her with all your heart and I know it's a lot to ask but I believe in you. I trust you, I love you, even if I never showed it, if I have to shout it from the roof tops I would. Goodbye Jack Avery and thank you for the last six years and our daughter.

-Bella Avery Lawson.

"Nooo, nooo, noooooo" I yell and bang my fist on the wall, I start running and running and running intill I'm at her house, I bust through the door and I see her, I see her, laying there, in a pool of blood.

"Bella, no, no, bella please please please be okay, I need you" I pull out my phone and dial 911. I put here head on my knee and try to find her palse, it's weak but she's still alive, I'm afraid I'll lose her, I should have been there for her, by her side not let her go through this alone. The ambulance shows up and takes her, "

When i arrive at the hospital, I wait for what seems like forever, I called everyone and they were here in five minutes, they ran through the doors and into my arms. You can tell they were crying, so have I. We just sat there in silence, no one  wanted to say anything, no one wanted to move just in case something happened. They let me go in to see her, they banged the slit in her wrist but that wasn't it, she overdosed as well. Who knows how long she was laying on the floor for.

"I can't lose you B, I love you to much to lose you, I know exactly where your ring is, and I'm going to get it and put it back on your finger where it belongs when you wake up. Please wake up, Bailey needs you, I need you, we all need you and we all love you Bella. Your loved by so many people, this isn't what your mum would have wanted, please wake up for me. Your Special to me Bella, I know you always said that I put you at ease but truth is you put me at ease as well from the moment I met you, since I meet you I've held on to hope. And always thought we were more then what we were originally. I know when I look up at the stars I see so much more but I still see that your eyes are the only  stars I need and that we're written in them. I know I will always be the person to save you, I know that we don't make any promises and that we only have one but I promise to you that if you don't make it, I will look after Bailey. Just please hold on. " I hold her hand as tears stream down my face.