Not what I expected.
___
I awoke to a steady beep. I swallowed thickly; I was alive, that was the exact opposite thing I wanted. I shifted slightly to find there was a weight holding my hand. I opened my eyes, being briefly blinded by the lights. Once my eyes adjusted to the bright white room, I looked around taking in my surroundings. The room was almost completely white or grey with the exception of the wires that lead to me; I then turned my attention towards the person next to me. He was asleep in a chair next to me. He was slumped forwards with one of his hands under mine; his figures loosely wrapped around me. I didn’t want to wake him, but I couldn’t help reaching out and running my other hand through his fluffy chocolate 'hobbit hair'.
“Phil,” he mumbled sleepily, “Phil.” he was now awake enough to press the button that called the nurse.
“Dan.” he smiled at me, squeezing my hand. He lent in carefully wrapping his arms around me.
“We almost lost you, Phil, you nearly left us,” he kissed the top of my head, "You nearly left me..." he whispered, his voice cracking. Dan pulled back, quickly wiping away his tears.
That was the point. We’ll just have to try harder next time won't we, Phil.
“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, I promise,” I hoped it sounded convincing because I was planning on breaking that promise later; after all aren't promises meant to be broken?
“Hi, I’m Sarah and I will be your nurse,” she had long brown hair and piercing blue eyes.
“Uh.. Hi, Sarah,” she took the clipboard from the end of my bed and wrote something down.
“Now, is it okay if I ask some questions?”
No it's not okay.
“Sure.”
“Right, what is your full name?”
“Philip Michael Lester.”
“What’s today's date?”
“Um… Monday, the 4th of September? Unless it’s still Sunday”
“It’s Monday,” she smiled up at me, “what’s your date of birth?”
“January 30th, 1987.”
“Okay, thank you for your time, I will get some food sent your way,” I was about to argue but she left before I could say a word.
“Dan?”
“Hm?”
“I’m gonna go to sleep.”
Yeah, and maybe you won’t wake up again.
“Mm okay, Phil” he lent over and kissed my forehead “sleep tight.”
I woke up to Dan gently shaking me.
“Hey, Phil, your dinner is here,” I grumbled, pushing the blankets off me and moving up so I was sitting up. It was only now I realized I was in my pajama pants.
“Hey, Dan, did put me in these?”
“Yeah, why?” I saw his eyes soften, telling me he knew exactly why.
He hates you, He thinks you're weak. He will never forgive you for breaking the promise. He is going to leave you for someone stronger, and less broken.
“I, Uhh... Ju-just wondering.”
“Hey, Phil, it's okay,” he took my hand and pressed his lips gently to the bandages, “please don't cry,” it was only now I realized I had tears running down face.
“I’m- I’m sorry, Dan,” I was sobbing now “I th- thought you would be better without me,” he pulled me into a tight embrace. When he pulled back i saw he to was crying.
He isn't sad, he's just disappointed you didn't follow through in time. He doesn't want you anymore, Phil, He never did. No one does.
“Please don't ever think that, I love you and I wouldn't trade the you for the word, especially just a piece of it,” he hugged me, rubbing my back until i calmed down more.
“Thank you,” he pushed my tray of food towards me.
“Hey, Phil, I know you’re not hungry but can you please eat something for me?” I looked down knowing that my thoughts would not be happy but nodded anyway. He slid the table around so i could get to it easily before placing the tray on it.
“Please try to eat it all.”
Don't think that I’m going to let you eat that. We both know you don't deserve to.
I slowly started to eat. I carefully put the knife and fork to the side of the plate when i was full. Dan, watched me closely before speaking.
“Thank you, Phil,” he moved the table back so it was no longer in the way. I untangled myself from the blankets before I swung my legs over the edge of the bed.
“Where are you going?” he wasn't mad, just curious.
“Bathroom, I’ll be back soon okay?” He watched me closely before standing.
“Mm, I think I will go as well,” he grabbed my hand and drew soft circles onto the back of it, “I know you like your personal space, but I need to make sure you’re safe.”
“I know,” I slid off the bed and onto my feet. That's when I remembered digging the blades into my legs. I lent on, Dan, and he wrapped his arm around me, taking most of my weight.
“Thank you, Dan.”
When we got back, Dan, decided it was easier to carry me back in. I buried my face into his shoulder.
“When can I sleep?
“Whenever you want, Philly,” I giggled.
“Don't call me that ever again, Danny.”
“Okay, fine,” he squeezed me slightly before putting me back on the bed and tucking me in.
“Can I sleep now?” I hoped he wouldn’t mind.
“Of course, Phil, goodnight,” he smiled and took my hand in his.
“Go home, Dan, you shouldn't stay here all night.”
“But what if I’m not here and you need me?”
“I’ll be fine, Dan, please go home,” he looked down.
“Okay, but I will be here as soon as possible, and don’t argue,” I sighed accepting that I was not going to win.
“Goodnight, Dan,” he placed a small kiss onto my forehead.
“Goodnight, Phil,” he gave my hand a final squeeze before he left, leaving me alone. I tried to ignore my thoughts, who were muttering quietly in the background as I waited for sleep to take over.
____
Total Words: 1025
____
