A 17 year old girl living her life of tragedy and death at every corner. Her moms not around and her dads dead. She has older brothers and a little brother who is her world. Boys are chasing after her and men are trying to claim her. People are dyin...
After running out of school I hopped in my ride and drove off. As I was driving memories of my moment with Damiann kept flashing in my head burning in my head. All I could think about was his hands on my body. His toned strong arms. His minty breath fanning over me. His lips like volts of lightning on my skin. I was so fascinated by him and the memory. I didn't realize. I was doing 85 when the speed limit is 30 going down the road. Being so focused in thought. I failed to realize a red light and the car slowing down in front of me. The car in front is honking at me signaling me to slow down knocking me out of thought. Bringing me back into reality I realized I was about to crash. My heart beating out of my chest feeling as if it's about to fall out my butt. I slammed on the brakes hard and reluctantly I came to a haltered stop. Lightly and barely bumping the car in front of me slightly without leaving a bump or scratch. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me as I gasped for air trying to steady my heart rate and calm my body as it was sent into overdrive.
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The light switches green, waiting for the small grey 1998 Mazda Miata convertible to drive making a right turn. I pause for a brief moment before continuing to drive. Feeling like my life just flash before my eyes, I go to one of my favorite smoothie joints to calm my nerves before I go see Noah. I ordered my Bahamian Mama it has Strawberry, Banana, Pineapple, watermelon, mixed red berries, and lemon.
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After I had received my smoothie I started the ignition, turned on the music and drove off to see my baby boy.
30 minute drive later....
I reached Roman's house and parked my car on the driveway. I exit my car, heading to the door to knock on it.
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Waiting a moment for someone to open the door. All of a sudden the door opens and a tall, thin, but semi-built man with nothing but basketball shorts and basketball slides is shown through the door. He's tatted up all from his chest, torso, and arms. Dark facial hair and dark features not including his skin with alluring light blue, grey, hazel-ish eyes. Thick eyebrows and big juicy pink lips.
" Hey!....your here a little early." said Roman with a happy and questioning tone.
"Yeah...I just can from school it's my free period and I'm skipping homeroom. Sooo....I came to see my baby boy. I missed him sooo much." I responded
"Oh...well...okay come right in" he said with a cheeky smile.
No doubt Noah's dad is attractive. I mean he's gorgeous and I can't help but feel that Roman's still in love with me. I see it in his body language, the way he looks at me, and how he is so flirty with me. Not to mention the amount of moments we had together. If I'm being honest I had dreamt of having sex with him. But that was after the time we shared our first kiss. Being at his house alone with him is hard and I tried to move on but I can't help but have strong feelings for him. I met him 4 years ago so 2 years before Noah. I was 13 and he was 19. My mom however was 39 at the time when she was with Roman. I know disgusting. But when I first saw Roman I was crushing on him like crazy. I didn't think anything would happen since I was young and he was older. But as time went on I knew my feelings for him were multiplying by 100. I was in love with him. My mom was gone a lot and a week after they met she moved him in. Ro and I were together all the time he would take me to school and back. He picked me up from my sports and my extra curricular activities. He even cooked dinner. My mom would be away for weeks or sometimes for months. Ro would be around me 24/7, we hung out together. We watched movies, played games together, he would ask me how my day went, and we would talk for hours upon hours. Sometimes we even forgot about our age differences and we would be caught in moments when we were touching each other. He would never touch my body PARTS unless I asked him to. I know I must seem like a whore or that there is something seriously wrong with this dude because on a real I was 13 and he was 19. We never had sex sex together but we did have oral sex together. At the time I was still going through puberty and my period was just starting to get on track and come regularly. So even if I wanted to have sex with him then I could easily become pregnant even if I tried not to because my period was unpredictable. It felt like we were in a relationship. I mean he would get angry and jealous when I was around or talk to boys. It was the same vise versa we both wanted each other. We both at times would feel guilty about our relationship. We would constantly convince each other not to feel guilty for each other and remind one another how we truly feel about each other. Although he did feel bad that he thought he was holding me back. He felt that I should be able to be with someone my age and hang out with friends with that person and to not hide my relationship. He would constantly say that I deserved better. We would consistently fight and argue back and forth about it. I would hate it when he would say that he feels like he is robbing my childhood. Putting me through an unrealistic relationship that will never work because of our age differences. On the other hand. I would feel like I wasn't enough, although it wasn't like he made feel that way I still felt that way. I felt like I didn't have much of a body for him, or like I couldn't help fulfill or provided for his sexual desires and needs. I felt like I didn't deserve or wasn't worthy of him. I felt that he needed a woman his age with more experience which I didn't have and that wasn't something I could give him. It's something I will never give him. I could never go back or start up a relationship with him because of Noah. I love that little boy with all of my heart and I know it might get tiring to hear but it's true. Entering a relationship with his dad...again.....I-I couldn't do that to him and Roman knows that. But, I'm just not sure if he respects that.
