Ultraviolence // muke

chapter eight

" there are some things you can't change and the voices in my head are one of them "

-

I could still hear his pitiful cries and begs for mercy as I walked back to my house. It crawled up my spine and I couldn't help but wince every time I remembered it, the fat tears rolling down his face as blood spilled and dripped and fucking splattered everywhere. It looked like a battlefield after I was done with him, and it sounded like an inane asylum while I was with him.

I felt insane.

"That's because you are." I told myself, looking down at my aching hands. Small bruises in the shape of fingernails were dug into my hands and my knuckles were bruised and slightly bloody still. The cut on my hand bled through the band-aid I wore, and I was kind of limping from using my knees so much to hurt him.

I looked down my street, stopping at the entrance as I held on to a stop sign. I tried to remember what I felt like to not give a single fuck in the world about this, to walk out of the forest with my head held high and back straight. It was only days ago, no more than a week, but it suddenly felt like years. Like years have gone by and I was a changed person.

I couldn't have changed that much, I still beat the kid into nothing but a bloody pulp. All he was now is blood stains and bruises, probably unrecognizable to anyone else. I didn't have regrets then, so I should now.

I shook my head, mumbling about how dumb I was being. I began walking towards my house, and on my way, I heard crying. Late at night like this, and someone was crying.

Who's up at this time besides the druggies, alcoholics, and psychopaths?

The closer I got to my house, the louder the crying got, and it kind of freaked me out. Who was crying? My mum doesn't cry. My dad hasn't showed an ounce of emotion that's not anger in several years.

Was Luke crying?

I stopped at the thought, and I heard a door shut. A figure walked out of Luke's house and I widened my eyes when the girl pulled her skirt down and looked around.

"Hey," I shouted, and she looked at me, or in my direction. It was too dark to tell since the nearest streetlight three houses down and the moon was covered with clouds. But I could see the silhouette, and it looked like like a girl. "What were you doing at Luke's house?"

"He called me to hang out."

"It's well past midnight." I reminded as I realized who it was. I felt like something fishy was going on, figuratively and literally since she was known for sleeping around.

I'd know, she slept with most of my old friends, they only bragged about it for weeks.

"That's why I'm leaving. He called me over around three pm, and now I need to get home before my parents know I'm missing." She laughed and I approached her.

"I was with him at three this afternoon, so you're lying to me." I accused and she was silent. "Is that Luke crying?"

"I thought it was the next house over. You know Analise is a depressed freak." She told me and I could feel my fists clench.

"That's not funny. Depression is not a joke." I snapped and she apologized half-heartedly. I saw the light on Luke's porch turn on, and I turned around to face him.

"M-Mikey?"

His voice came out as a croak, and I could feel anger pulse in my veins when I saw his reddened face and shimmering tear streaks down his cheeks. "You bitch." I gasped but Gessibel was already running off.