Ultraviolence // muke

chapter nine

" if being in love with you is crazy, then i must be insane "

-

My knife was missing when I came home, leaving nothing but a gash inside of the trunk of the tree. I looked at Luke's house, and his window was still open, though his curtains were pulled open. I sighed and then leaned against the old tree, hearing his alarm clock ring.

He didn't work, so I don't know why he had an alarm for seven in the morning every day.

"I can't believe I just pushed away the only person who actually cared about me." I whispered to myself, falling down against the tree. The bruise on my knee was more prominent than ever, seeing as the red had blossomed into a deep purple and blue color. My knuckles were the same, though they were an uglier shade and ached every time I opened my fist.

I leaned my head against the tree and I mumbled random words, random condescending words to throw my mood deeper and deeper into the gutter. I wanted to feel like shit for being such a fucking idiot. I wanted to guilt myself into apologizing for running away, for hurting Gessibel, and scaring Luke, though I had school in twenty minutes.

I didn't even want to go to school today, my heart aching too much and my bones were too bruised. No doubt it'd draw attention, and I didn't need it.

I felt something fall on my shoulder and I opened my eyes, finding wood chips on my shoulder. Someone was standing in front of me, and I winced as that someone also sat down infront of me, a face I wish would have just stayed away from me.

"Let's talk."

"I said all I needed to say last night." I muttered and shifted a bit as he held my hands in his. "You can't be around me. You shouldn't be here with me."

"Well... I'm not leaving." Luke ran his thumb over my knuckles as he spoke. "I need you to answer this for me aswell. Please." 

"Sure." I shrugged and he looked into my eyes. The soft blue was a murky shade, darkened with something I couldn't quite make out. "I can't promise you'll like the answer though."

"Those kids that went missing, those two boys and that one girl, did you have anything to do with it?" He asked me and I stared at my bruised hands inside of his pale ones. "Be honest with me, I'm begging."

"What do you think?" I asked him and he was silent as he looked around. No one was out, but I guess he was just being cautious. "Luke... I told you..."

"Come with me."

Before I could answer, he pulled me off the floor and tugged me in the direction of his house. I followed quickly, my heart in my throat as the door shut behind us both.

"Why am I here?" I asked and he crossed his arms as I brushed my bum off. I probably had dirt and grass stains on my skirt.

"I don't want anyone to hear this for your sake..." He answered and I kept my back against his front door. "I don't think you'd want anyone one to hear this... cause' you did it, didn't you? It was you, wasn't it?"

I didn't answer him and he ran his hands through his hair, tugging on it roughly since we both knew my silence was my answer.  "I'm in love with a murderer." He whimpered pathetically and I kept my eyes on my pink sneakers.

"What did they do? What did they do to deserve to die?" He asked me and I walked up to him. "Answer me before you touch me, Michael. What's what it's short for, isn't it? I'm not dumb and I'm not ignorant."

I curled my fingers as I pulled my hand away. "I-I don't know." I admitted, and it was quiet for a second.

"You don't know?" He nearly snapped at me and I could feel all the guilt rush through me, like it was a speeding car and I hadn't looked both ways before crossing a street.