dear joon (can i still call you that?),
i'm very sorry for what i did to you. i realize that my decisions could have hurt you more than i'm hurting myself. i lied to myself saying that i didn't love you. nothing about our relationship was a lie. i love you so much it's scary and i can't live without you. i tried to take you out of my mind by dating other girls and i didn't realize i hurt you more by doing so. i'm sorry that i even took the bet in the first place. i wish we started our relationship a different way. i wish i would have met you a different way and treated you a different way. i really wish i could have treated you the way you deserve to be treated. i am not asking for us to get back together, but i do want to get back together, and i'm not asking for your forgiveness. even though i also want you to forgive me. i just want you to know that i love you and i don't think anything could ever change that. you're like a drug to me. i'm addicted to everything about you. i can't stop thinking about you no matter how hard i try. i'm so in love with you kim namjoon. i'm sorry i didn't realize it sooner. most importantly i'm sorry i couldn't tell you this face to face. i'm a coward and i can't tell you how sorry i am for that. i hope you could forgive me and we could get back together but i will respect any choice you make. i love you.
from,
a very very sorry seokjin
