Cracks

1

I crept back into my house, clutching my purse against my left side. Looking back I could see Nino's car driving off in the distance. How typical of him to leave once he got what he wanted.

Not gonna lie, the sex was good. The head was too. Shit, my legs were still shaking. The only person I ever had sex with was Nino, though, so its not like i've had prior experience with anyone else that I can compare it to, all I know is stick to what I'm used to. So I stuck with him.

I reached in my purse to grab my keys to unlock the door and walked into the living room, to my surprise, my cousins were sitting there, watching tv.

"Well look at you, coming home at 11:32", my cousin, Kimora, said as I placed my purse on the table.

"What, am I in trouble?", I said in a hushed voice,"was Aunt Tori looking for me?"

"Nah", Isaiah, my other cousin said, stuffing his mouth with m&m's.

"You know you're good, right", Kimora said. I took a seat on the couch next to her, "She doesn't pay attention to stuff like that"

"I mean, I'm new to this... you know.... I never really went out much... ever, and now that I can, it feels so wrong", I said, laughing a little. Kimora pushed me slightly on my shoulder, "Its not that big of a deal, ma's pretty lenient", she said in a reassuring tone.

"Yeah, especially with you", Isaiah chimed in,"She lets you get away with more cause you're not one of us". I tightened my lips and looked up at the ceiling.

"Isaiah!", Kimora hissed.

"Oh, I didn't mean it like-"

"No, no, its fine", I said, "I get what you meant". I really wasn't fully sure what Isaiah meant by that, but I didn't want
To find out, honestly. An awkward silence fell over us, and I stared at the tv screen. They were watching "The Good Neighbor", I think. Isaiah stood up and stretched, "I think i'm just gonna... go upstairs. G'night"

"'Night, Isaiah", I said.

Once he got upstairs, and we heard the door shut behind him, Kimora glanced at me.

"I'm sorry about him, you know he can be a little ignorant sometimes", she said.

"I get it", I laughed, "No need to apologize, Kimo"

"I just don't want you to feel like your detatched from us", she added, "we're all family, your our cousin, and to be honest, I've always seen you as a more of a little sister to me"

"Its cool, if theres any place I don't feel as indifferent as I do on a regular basis, its here", I said, "I love it here."

"Thats good", she said quietly, "so what had you out all night?"

I sulked into the couch,"I think I messed up"

"How?"

"I keep letting Nino get into my head", I sighed.

"What happened?"

"He's taking advantage of me", I said. Kimo paused the movie. "He'll call me up and say he wants to go out to grab some food, or he'll come scoop me to go to a little kickback, or even just to smoke something, and he'll end up asking for sex before he drops me off. I feel like I'm being used now. Its not love anymore, its just lust."

"...wellllll, what kind of sex is it? Do you get anything out of it?", Kimo asked.

"Its good sex, I guess. Good dick, good pussy eating skills, then he wants me to give him...head". It felt so awkward talking about this with her.