The Uncertainty That Is My Life

My repentance

I'm currently standing at my locker. It's been a week since Isaak and I have spoke and I don't think we're on good terms. I don't like fighting with people, especially cute guys, but Isaak is just being so difficult. To be honest he has every to be angry but not like this. I've got to say sorry.

"Hey.. umm I've been thinking and I'm sorry about what happened last week. I don't know what has gotten over me, I was just in a bad place; but that's not an excuse. I really am sorry", I hear a voice ,that I've missed so much, says. " Issak, it's not your fault. I forgive you. I'm sorry about the fight and calling you a whore, especially Marie's whore. It was wrong of me!", I say, reassuring Isaak that I'm okay.

"I was just about to come talk to you", I say tapping my chin, " I was about to come apologize for the fight. But I guess we are OK now!".

I reach to hug Isaak. "Not yet", he says while closing my arms,"tell me what happened between you and Marie".

I take a deep breath and release the tension from my shoulders." Fine", I tell Isaak the whole story, and he's facial expression changes from curious to mad then to sad.

"That's why I hate her. She's a bitch. A lying cheating, backstabbing, STD- filled bitch. I wouldn't be shocked if she falls pregnant or if her vagina rots." . I'm just glad I got that off of my shoulders.

"Oh Nat I'm sorry. Now I really feel like a Jackass. You were not right to expose her the way you did, but the school was going to find out somehow. I'm just so sorry", he says while hugging me from my waist." Stop saying sorry, its okay ", I put his face in the palm of my hands and make him stare at my eyes, reassuring him that I'm really okay and that I really did forgive him. I place my arms around his neck and he buries his face in my neck. He gives me a butterfly kiss and whispers " you're so beautiful and forgiving . I love that about you" into my ears.

-----

I'm lying on my bed right now going through my chats and see a message pop up on my screen

Tyler: Hi baby, I miss you so much. I heard Marie moved to your school as well. She's just being jealous as always.

Me: Oh hi. Why do you still text me. Why are you telling me about your whore. I know that you cheated on me when Quincy ratted you out, but I can't believe you have STD's!! You man whore. I can't believe I loved you. Well it's certain that I hate you
. Just stop texting me, okay. I've been hurt more than I deserve. Goodbye Tyler!

Tyler: Baby I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, honestly. I love you more than any girl I know. You're more than what Marie will ever mean and be to me. Please forgive me.

Me: Didn't I say stop texting me?! What don't you get, huh?! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!! Isn't it enough that I trusted you with my heart only for you to feed it to the dogs, more directly- Marie. Goodbye Tyler.

You have blocked Tyler

I throw my phone on the floor and grab my pillow, screaming in it like I don't know what. Am I over reacting? Should I hear him out? There's nothing to hear, besides the fact that his a dirty lowlife heartbreak.

" JERKFACE!!", I say, practically scream, into my pillow. Really, jerkface. Come on, you can do better than that petty insult.
Wow, my insults are so bad even my brain is ashamed.

I pull the pillow closer to me, feeling like just ripping it apart. I try my hardest to cry, but instead if my letting out a cry I think I just tutted a little.

Don't judge me, girls have butts that are capable of tutting as well you know.

I start laughing out loud like mad person. Wow, tears are coming out, just not the way I was hoping they would. Let me try this again.