When Reality Fails My Mind Wins

Will I ever be in peace?

My eyes are teary
My mind is scary
It tears everything apart
It breaks my heart

Everyone thinks I'm happy
They don't know my story
I'm part of a good family
That's why they say I'm lucky

But being part of it is not that good
Cause I'm always thinking where should I stood
The fact that my family is so good
Later on, ME being bad, brings down my mood

Cause I bring down my family
In each mistakes I made
Then it makes me feel so guilty
And I think they should be paid

But, I can't pay with money
Can I pay by living my life in misery?
So I settled myself to be in so much pain
Where being happy is something I can't gain

But I've been tired and sick of all of this
Can't I stop now and be in peace?
I wanna live now for something good
I'm tired of being stuck in the woods

Where can I find the way out
Cause now, I really wanna get out
I don't want any more heartache
Now, I just wanna mend every thing I'd break.

~
written last Apr7,2017
published Jul14,2017:)
title edited Jul4,2018