self-destructive empathy ; setosolace

2

My eyes shifted from my blank, white wall to the open window next to my bed. Street lamps flickered from on to off and the birds began chiming their dreadful song. The sun began to awake from its slumber and rise high in the sky. It peeped through the curtains, burning my exhausted eyes.

The sleepless night had won.

As much as I wanted to hibernate in my own bed, alas there were too many things to be done today. Gathering up all the strength that my body could muster, I sat up and headed towards the kitchen. Ty was gone of course; he had classes early in the morning. All he left behind was an empty box of Honey Nut Cheerios and a bowl that still had milk in it.

Great, now I have nothing to eat. I always told Ty to stay away from my cereal (he has his own: Frosted Flakes), but unfortunately my words simply tumble from one ear and out the other.

I tossed the empty box into the trash can and proceeded to wash the bowl. The milk slowly curdled down the drain, causing me to gag in disgust. I'm pretty sure milk should go down smoothly and not be chunky. I put aside the washed bowl in the drying rack and headed towards the fridge. I gazed at the milk and looked at the expiration date. Of course, it had expired a two weeks ago in September. Ty is disgusting.

I took the milk and downed the rest into the drain. It smelled disgusting—like blue or old cheese and curdled loudly. I took no hesitation to toss that out into the trash as well.

Now the fridge was nearly empty. Not only do I have to drop by the library, I additionally have to go to the supermarket to buy actual food. I sighed. My stomach growled angrily at me in response. If I didn't have any decency, I would have stolen his cereal. Unlike him, I respect another person's things.

So, I headed back to my room to change my clothes. I still wanted to look presentable, so I grabbed my brown trench coat and threw it over my gray, paint stained pajama shirt. I changed from pajama pants to black jeans, then threw on a black beanie. I didn't bother to gel my hair since I didn't want to be outside in the first place. The beanie slouched on my head.

I headed out the door, shutting it behind me. I was about to take the elevator down to the lobby, but then I had the utter realization that:

A) I forgot my car and house keys.
B) I also forgot my phone.
C) My damn wallet.
D) How could I even leave without my shoes?

I groaned with the realization that I would have to face the fury of the landlord—something that I was not looking foreword to. I reached into my pocket, holding my breath and praying that I had my spare key. My prayers were slightly answered as I pulled out a couple bobby pins. Oh, that's right, Shelby gave me this jacket.

I've never picked locks before, so going down on my knees and shoving a bobby pin into the keyhole, then proceeding to jiggle it furiously, looks pretty stupid. After a good two minutes, the lock finally gave up and the door opened. I sighed with relief as I rushed inside, practically slamming it behind me. I lost motivation to go to the supermarket.

I headed back to my room and picked up my car keys and wallet from the nightstand. Then, I headed towards my drawer to grab some socks. I didn't care what socks I took since they were bound to be mismatched anyway. I quickly put them on and headed towards my closet. I decided to put on the black converse shoes that didn't really fit me anymore. They were tight and made my feet thump, but again, I didn't really care. Fashion, am I right?

I headed out the door and decided to take the stairs down to the lobby. I lived on the third floor, and knowing my bad luck the elevator would probably fail on me. I wasn't letting that happen today. I reached the lobby, sweating, and quickly headed out those glass doors. The chill, dry air was refreshing against my skin. I've been sweating so much lately, is this normal?