self-destructive empathy ; setosolace

3

The skies begun to turn back to black while the street lights flickered on. The stars above twinkled in their synchronized dance while all life seemed to go to an abrupt pause. Night was truly the time where things seemed to slow down. The feeling of melancholy would eventually settle in—the night is filled to the brim with mysteries lurking within the shadows.

"Thanks for staying with me, today," within the darkness, I could see his bright smile as he locked the entrance doors. "I really appreciate that you also helped me."

"It's no problem," I urged.

He paused for a moment, seeming to be deep in thought, before speaking, "Here, I finished reading it."

Seto's hands lunged foreword revealing a hard covered book. I hesitatingly took it while nodding in appreciation, "Thanks. I suppose this is goodbye then."

"Yeah, it is. Nice meeting you, Brice."

A frown tugged at my lips. The odd burning sensation in my chest stopped me from moving my feet. It was almost as if I was glued to place. I grit my teeth as I attempted to force myself to leave. Strolling down the sidewalk, my limbs numbingly moved. Pins and needles—pins and needles.

"Hey wait—" the brunet called out, "can I have your number?"

Part of me was relieved he was calling me back. I turned around. We were a fair distance away from each other—I assumed about three feet. Within the moonlight, it looked as if he was shaking; possibly anxious. No, he couldn't be.

"Uh, hold on a sec," I said nonchalantly. With my free hand, I reached into my pockets in attempt to look for my phone. My heart jumped as I realized my pockets were, practically, empty.

I forgot my phone at home.

I scolded myself mentally. How could I be so stupid to leave my own phone behind? I spoke up in an attempt to not appear as if I was a total asshole, "I forgot my phone at home and I don't have my phone number memorized, sorry."

I knew I shouldn't have changed my phone number!

He opened his mouth to speak, but rejected the notion with a disappointed sigh, "Alright."

Great going Brice, you made him upset.

To avoid the air between us getting more dense, I bolted towards my vehicle that was parked across the street. Out of breath and quite exasperated, I fiddled with my car keys before successfully opening the door. I slammed the door shut, started the car, and pressed my foot against the gas. Disregarding all safety regulations, along with the law, I sped down the empty street and ignored all stop signs until I got back to the apartment complex.

I parked my car and groaned. I got the book and now I won't have to see that librarian ever again. However, I just felt so guilty. I mean, looking back at it now, it could seem like I wanted to completely avoid him.

I rested my head against the center of the steering wheel. Maybe I'm just overthinking things like I normally do. He seems like the type of guy to understand situations like those. The car released a ear piercing belch, thus sending my thoughts back to reality. I straightened my posture.

The past is in the past and I should learn to ignore things. I grabbed the book and proceeded to get out of the car. Popping the trunk, I forced myself to grab all the grocery bags. No second trips for me. I closed the trunk with my foot and proceeded to head into the lobby.