November 2012
I was always a wide dreamer, perhaps this could be the reason why I'm a heavy sleeper. Sometimes I talk in my sleep, sometimes I dream of flying over plains and seas. I even have nightmares of my own. The haunting whispers in my ear; and the sleep paralysis that still happens for once in a while.
However, this experience I had was the most peculiar saddest dream my mind ever created. "I died in my dream." It wasn't very scary though, because it's not the first time I had died in a dream.
I don't remember how that happened. All I know was that my face was in total wrecked. Maybe I died on the spot from an accident or somebody killed me. My death wasn't the focal point of it all but the moving thing was that I saw where I went through, like an afterlife vision of myself.
I saw a very white light and I came to a dimensional space with a huge stalk of a tree hovering in front of me. I really don't know where I was but there were four people climbing up the stalk. I followed them without any idea where it would lead me. It was obvious that they died too, but strangely they already knew where to go. I can't even remember how they look like, not even their genders.
When we reached the surface, it turned out to be a forest where a huge wooden cabin could be seen from a distance.
Walking through the doorstep, we came inside and the strange looking cabin turned to be a medieval stoned castle. The floors, walls and the staircase were of gray stones. It had high ceilings with gigantic candlelight chandeliers. There's a wooden table beside the foot of the staircase and a woman was standing there waiting, as if she was already expecting us.
She proclaimed that the castle is a place to sentence people, and repent our sins that we have done when we were alive. The woman explains further, and I soon perceived that I end up here in this place for trial. A mission of sorts with a lot of sacrifices and struggles to endure before we could enter Heaven and by failing would mean to end up forever in Hell. "In Roman Catholic views, I knew I was in a Purgatory."
I accepted my fate, but I asked her a kind favor to let me go and visit my parents for the last time before they could suppress my human memory and she did.
My vision shifts and I was brought back to our old house where I spent my childhood years.
I saw my parents in the kitchen. My mom was eating at the dining, looking distressed. My dad was there too. He was cooking just like he normally does. I was talking to my mom but I hardly even remember what I said. All I knew was that, I was saying goodbye. Tears began to gush up in my face and I knew I was moaning. I can feel that there were tears in my eyes while asleep.
My mom couldn't see me, or feel me right next to her. I touched her arms and her eyes quickly moved. She froze. I knew she felt it. It seems evident like I'm an unseen spirit visiting my parents. The feelings within me felt nothing but emptiness. I knew I'm never going to see them again that my life on earth is over and I knew I have to move on to the next life.
It was a sorrowful feeling standing there in the kitchen watching them alone, a shattering sight that I will never forget. I knew I had to wake up because I've seen enough.
My dream went white and I woke up staring blankly in the night trying to remember what I've been dreaming of. I folded both my hands and started to pray and prepared myself for work. As hours went by I slowly recall it all on my way to the office and I knew I had to write it down to be able to remember every detail in my head. I knew it wasn't nightmarish of sorts because my heart wasn't racing in fear when I woke up. Maybe God has a message for me or warning me about something.
Two days later, I went to an evangelical church near my workplace with a friend.
I prayed and confessed my sins and ask forgiveness in the Lord. I was teary eyed about the topic of the homily because my dream really had moved me a lot and caused a tremendous dramatic effect on me.
Since that dream, I began searching scientific explanation about dreams and what they really meant for humans. I even bought a dream catcher and hanged it on my bed. It's a traditional woven stuff to protect the sleeping individual from having bad dreams. Since I bought that thing I hardly ever remember having eerie dreams again, except the sleep paralysis still happens to me sometimes. Nevertheless, prayers will still be my best guidance before I sleep.
