dirty water : phan

4

B)

-

"I can't do this," I mutter out loud, standing face to face with Phil's apartment door. My hand hovers in front of me, clenched tightly in a fist.

You can do this, Dan.

I close my eyes and knock lightly, quickly pulling away. Almost immediately, the metal door swings open and reveals a sleepy, scruffy Phil. His heavy eyes widen at the sight of me and he suddenly struggles to find the right words. "D-Dan, I'm so sorry about last night, honestly. I didn't mean to.. I mean, I did, but.. How can I make it up to-"

"Kiss me," I say, and I press my lips to his, gently at first. Every thought or vision of her disappears as our mouths connect. My confidence takes a hold of my actions for once in my life. My hands wrap around Phil's neck as his fingers move from my waist to my hips. His touch is sensitive, aware, almost cautious, and I melt into it without a thought. He pulls me into his apartment and presses me against the shut door, his mouth moving from mine to my neck, and I'm almost startled by the warmth of his tongue tracing the length of my jawline. He leaves soft kisses all along my neck and it takes everything in me not to let out a sheepish moan. The intimacy between us deepens and deepens and deepens until I realize it's 10 am and I'm making out with a man I just met a few days ago.

"Uh, P-Phil?" Slowly, Phil pulls away from my collarbones and raises his flushed face to meet my eyes.

"We're never gonna get any work done if we continue like this," I giggle, and Phil laughs before placing a thoughtful kiss on my rosy lips.

"Although I wish you were wrong, it seems you are right once again," he sighs, and pulls me further into his apartment.

-

I feel the heat creeping up my neck again as I pull each article of clothing off. Phil's eyes are like lasers, and a familiar anxiety sets in. Phil clears his throat, saying, "You can keep whatever you want on, if it makes you more comfortable. Whatever you'd like."

I smile and I know my face is definitely beginning to look like a stoplight. "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," I respond as I redo the button on my trousers.

Phil smirks at my bashfulness and shows me exactly how to sit on the sofa for his next piece. I listen to him closely and do my best to recreate what he's describing.

Two hours later, Phil leans back and sets his brush on the table next to him. "Done," he says, and I smile at the blatant pride he has in his accomplishments.

I stand and attempt to see the finished product, but Phil pushes me back playfully. "This one's a surprise. For the gallery, remember?"

An unusual surge of confidence floods my body and I reach for the buckle of my trousers. "Is there a way I can... convince you? To show me?"

Phil audibly swallows and laughs shakily. "Daniel, you well know I stick to the things I say."

"Are you... sure?" I pull off my leather belt and place it on the table next to his paint palette and easel.

Dan, what the hell are you doing?

"I-I'm sure we can make an exception," Phil says under his breathe as I trace circles lightly on his neck and shoulders, "for you, love."

"Love?" I question, stopping my swirling fingers and reverting back to my shy disposition.

Phil doesn't waste a second of my vulnerability and takes me by my waist, pulls me down into his lap, and connects his lips with mine. The inexplicable bliss between us returns as we navigate one another, gently but passionately. It's fire but it's ice; it's calm and collected, yet it feels like fireworks; it's wrong but it's so right and it's everything I ever expected and more.

I open my eyes and find myself staring into his bright blue ones as we catch our breath. The seconds go by like hours, exchanging oxygen and enjoying the moment together. Our mouths connect again and I smile against his unshaven face. I wrap my fingers tighter around the nape of his neck and tug at the edges of his hair. It's Phil's turn to smile.

Before I know it, Phil is carrying me bridal-style off the couch, still kissing my lips and cheeks and jaw and neck and any part of my face he can get a hold on. I absorb his display of affection gratefully and sigh at each loving touch.

I hear his bedroom door swing closed behind us, but the contentedness in my heart is too overwhelming to really care.

-

this is kinda shit but im in a little bit of a rough place emotionally. enjoy this fluff though!!