Gay As Hell

I'm not gay, I'm a Punsexual

Sans kinda felt like he was dying. Despite the fact that he was a skeleton and he didn't technically need to breathe, it still felt pretty strange not to for a while. Especially considering that the reason he was unable to breathe was because he was trying so hard not to laugh.

He had woken up about five minutes ago and stared at his ceiling for a bit, as usual. He had been able to hear Papyrus downstairs, clanking pans around and making his usual morning noises. He'd groaned slightly, turning over. He could probably fall back to sleep and get just a few more minutes of...

"SANS!!! BREAKFAST!!!" came the summons. Sans had groaned again and pulled himself out of bed, knowing how futile it was to try and ignore his brother. He had dressed quickly and teleported straight into the kitchen, which had turned out to be a mistake. As soon as he caught sight of Papyrus, the urge to laugh had nearly overcome him and, not wanting to make Paps feel bad for any reason ever, he had began this new battle of air vs laughter in an attempt to stifle himself.

Sans could only see the back of what Papyrus was wearing, but dear god was that enough. His scarf was still there, but in place of his normal blue bottoms, he was wearing black (dare he even say it) booty shorts, and his usual red boots were replaced with a pair of high-heeled leather boots he must have gotten from Fell, and that was it. There was no other clothing on his brother. Not a single other scrap of cloth. Instead, he was painted in swirling colors, rainbows running along his ribs and the back of his skull and covering what you could see of his legs.

At the sound of Sans's impending asphyxiation, Papyrus turned around in surprise. "OH! HELLO BROTHER! BREAKFAST IS WAITING ON THE TABLE!" He turned back to what he had been doing as though nothing was different.

"Um..." Sans choked out "Bro..."

"YES, BROTHER?"

"What the hell are you wearing?"

Papyrus spun back to face him, planting his hands on his hips and puffing out his bare ribs. His face was also decorated with rainbow paint, rubbed in stripes under his eye sockets like war paint. "I am going to go to a human parade with Undyne!"

Sans took a few deep breaths, still trying not to laugh, as he sat down at the table in front of the food Papyrus had laid out for him. "That doesn't really answer my question. That is definitely not how you dressed for the Community Days parade last month," he said around a mouthful of eggs.

Papyrus gave him a look. "SANS! SWALLOW YOUR FOOD! It's not that kind of a parade! It's a happy parade! The humans dress up in rainbows and they walk all together to show their support for each other! It's a beautiful custom and it brings everyone closer together! Undyne says that it's a really big deal to the humans, and she asked me to come with her and Alphys! I think that a couple of the others are coming too!"

Sans put some more food in his mouth, only kind of listening to what Papyrus was saying as he ate.

"Stretch and Fell should be there, and Red of course, Blue's coming with him...and I think I heard that Lust might be there..."

At that, Sans's head shot up. Papyrus grinned at him. "I don't suppose you might want to come, would you, brother?" he asked, a bit too innocently.

X-X-X-X

What the hell have I gotten myself into? Sans thought to himself as he looked at himself in the mirror. Papyrus had insisted that if he was going to come this "happy parade" with him, he needed to dress up too! Sans had a suspicion that Papyrus had been planning to get Sans to come along for quite some time, because he had somehow already had an outfit for Sans to wear.