What is Death?

Lift Your Spirit

Chapter 20

“No!” Renae shook her head. A look of despair had crept upon her face. It broke my heart.

“I’m sorry.” I said quietly; almost as a whisper.

“Why would you ask me to do this? I don’t know what I would do without you. You’re my best friend!” I could see that she was close to tears, and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and tell her that I hadn’t meant it. That it was just a silly notion and there was some other way. But there wasn’t, and I did mean it. I wouldn’t just keep running. Stein already almost killed me once, and I had a sinking feeling that the next time he caught me he would succeed in killing me.

So instead of giving her a big hug and saying everything was going to be just fine, I looked Renae firmly in the eyes and said “There’s no other way and either way I’m going to die. I’d rather it were on my own terms though and not by a murderous demon.”

A small sob escaped her lips, but she nodded her head in agreement. “I understand. I just don’t like it. I wish there was some other way to do this. If only we could kill him.” I shook my head. We both knew that it wasn’t possible. I was just a girl, she was just a new guardian angel, Khalon was just a boy, and Stein was a very powerful demon. The odds had always been stacked against us. There was no way we would ever be able to kill Stein. Hurt him maybe, but not kill. “Maybe,” Renae began “I could talk to Gabriel. He could help us. He’s helped me before.” 

Once again I shook my head. “Gabriel might have helped you before, but I doubt that he would physically help us. Otherwise he would have intervened long before now. No I think we’re on our own here.”

Khalon cleared his throat. “Is there anything I could do to help?”

I turned my head to look at him. My feelings for him were confusing. I couldn’t quite piece together if I liked him or not. Just earlier today I had confessed my love to him. Well what I thought was him, when it was really Stein in his body. Now I had no clue whatsoever. Looking him up and down I saw the familiar old Khal. The one I was used to. The Khal who had been my best friend up until I had died.

Renae answered for me. “No.”

“What?” He said. Looking confused. “I’m Ans friend too. I should be able to help out however I can. You have no say in this. You’re just some dead girl Ans happened to meet. I’m the more important person here.”

“Shut up!” I nearly shouted at him. “Don’t talk to Renae like that.” He looked hurt, but before he could say anything I shushed him with a look. “Renae has been my best friend since I died. She’s barely left my side and what did you do that whole time? Consorted with a demon who was after my soul. I’m touched that you want to help out, I really am, and it’s just that no you’re not more important than Renae. It’s the other way around, and I really don’t think there’s anything that you can do. You’ve already done enough.”

That was the most hurt I’d ever seen Khal look. “Fine.” He said turning away from me and Renae. “I see how it is. Have fun dying again.” He spit out the words like venom, then stormed off.

“Khal.” I said, not sure if I was sad to see him go or not.

“Goodbye Anstice.” He shouted back at us. The silence between Renae and I grew immense. It was Renae who first broke the silence.

“Good riddance.” She stuck out her tongue in his direction, then turned back to me. “He was no good for you anyway Ans. You’re better off without him…however long you have left.” She added the last part almost forgetting that I was going to die again soon.