Sk8er Boi

Wrong Direction

A/N: I know it's been a while since I uploaded and I feel bad but I honestly can not think of anything to write for this story. I need help, how many of you guys would be very upset if I got rid of this story?

Chapter 4:

          I stared up at the canopy of stars streched above me. The dark blue sky was dotted with millions of the tiny glowing white orbs. I named all of the constellations in my mind as my eyes roamed freely over the wide expanse. Someone laid down in the grass next to me and I turned my head. Ryan. Every muscle in my body loosened as I saw him, his beautiful eyes and dark hair. "What's up?" he asks me and I roll my eyes at the expression.

          "The sky, the stars, the moon." I murmur. He chuckles.

          "You know what I meant."

          I do know what he meant. But at the moment, I'm not quite sure myself. I let out a small sigh and answer seriously this time. "I don't know, Ryan. I know I like you a lot but I don't know how this will ever work." He turns to face me completely, propped up on his elbow.

          "We can work something out, Harley. I'm sure we can." he says and I know he means the words as he says them.

          I want to believe him, really I do. But I just can't let this- this whatever we have together get in the way of ballet. "Ryan, I think we should just stop talking to eachother." I feel my heart ache. The hurt in his eyes is unmistakable and I can see how much he cares.

          "Why?" he whispers, running a hand through his hair, tousling it. I feel terrible. I don't want to end it. I want to tell him I'm joking and feel his arms around me, embracing me in a hug with a promise of unconditional love tied with it. But I know I have to stick to what's best, even if it means no more skateboarding with Ryan. I bite my lip. "Harley, look at me." he says huskily.

          I slowly bring my eyes to his. I should've kept my head down because now I can see all of the pain in my heart mirrored in his eyes and I know I'll never be able to do this, I'm unable to say goodbye because I need him to much. He caresses my cheek and leans in and I smell his cologne. I inhale deeply, memorizing the scent so I'll always remember and have it close to my heart. His lips crash against mine in an urgent but soft way, they are sweet and light as a whisper in the wind. I savor every last minute that I spend with him, knowing that I have to give all of this up. Give up the warmth and happiness in my heart. I hope someday I'll see him again and I can love him again but somehow I know that the odds are not really in my favor on that wish. Soon Ryan has to leave again and now I am lying in my bed waiting for sleep to find me. It wasn't and I felt myself get lost in a dizzying fantasy of what life could be like if I grew up with Ryan by my side, I imagined marrying him and having children. I imagined us sitting on a porch somewhere surrounded by our children and our children's children, him gray-haired with the same fierce looking eyes. I smile at the thought of growing old together. I'm curled up in a small ball making sure I keep myself together because of the aching in my chest that refuses to cease, even for a little while. It goes on and on and on until I finally slip into unconsciousness, nightmares following me wherever I go.

          I wake up with a small scream escaping from my lips. The nightmares were horrible but there was nothing I could do about it. It was Saturday and I had nothing to do. The aching returned to my stomach and I had never felt so alone in my own home. I had no one to try an explain my feelings to. It was too little too late to ask Mandy or Felicia for help. They'd probably never forgive me. I hated them for being right. A skater boy and a ballet dancer are just not meant to be; but it felt so right to be with him. I sighed. I had to stop thinking like that. I took the skateboard that I had bought for myself (one of the best skateboards ever because Ryan had helped me) and went to a place where I knew I could practice and no one would find me. I vowed to myself that even if I wasn't going to hang out with Ryan and be with him anymore I would still practice skateboarding. So I wouldn't get rusty. No matter what happened with Mandy and Felicia and all of my other girly friends, this would be the part of me that no one but Ryan would know about. 

          I'd been practicing for three hours but I needed to keep going. I was sweating and I was exhausted but I couldn't give up for the day yet. I started over and over and over again and then when I finally got the trick I'd been doing right, I heard someone clap behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw a girl that I knew very well come over to me. Damn, I thought to myself. I forgot that I had told Ryan about this place. He'd probably told her because he knew I needed someone to talk to. "You're doing great, even without Ryan." she said smiling slightly.

          I sighed. "Only on the outside, Jill."

          "You're tearing Ryan apart. He won't even skateboard or show off for the girls who walk past. Won't make bets or anythimg. When I left he wouldn't even talk to Sam." she filled me in. I don't think she was trying to make me feel bad on purpose but hearing that he wouldn't even talk to Sam; that was bad. He must be really upset. I frowned. "Oh, not helping, am I?" she realized sheepishly.

          "I can't be with him. Not now, maybe after I finish high school..." I let my voice trail off and she nods.

          "You're killing him, Har." she says softly and I see the truth in her eyes. He missed me. A lot. He wouldn't talk to anyone, wouldn't do anything. And it was all of my fault. "He won't even eat and it looks like he hasn't slept for awhile." she adds. I sigh again. I have to make this right, even though I know this won't help at all.

          "Let's go, Jill." I say defeated. We ride our skateboards all the way back to the place where I first saw him. He's sitting against the wall with his head in his hands. I feel a pang of guilt. This was my fault. I was the reason he was like this.

          "Yo, lover boy!" I hear Jill call next to me. HIs head snaps up and a grin flashes across his face. He looks like a small boy on Christmas morning opening up the most awesome present of all. More gult washes over me as I think of how I don't plan to stay with him. He walks towards me and when he's close enough he picks me up in a hug and spins me around.

          "You put me through hell." He whispers in my ear. I frown. Somehow Jill got everyone to give us a minute alone and he puts me down and looks in my eyes. His face dawns in realization. "You're not staying are you?" I look down in pain and regret. This isn't easy for me.

          "No," I whisper in anguish. I try to keep my eyes away but he lifts my face between his hands. I look into his gorgeous eyes and I can see all the way into his soul, I can see all of the pain that he's going through, how much he thought of me leaving and how much he cares.

          "Harley, you know you love me too." He says, his blue eyes serious. I sigh, it's true. I know it. He knows it. But I can't just let love rule my life. He leans in and kisses me... I decide that for now I'm going to make him happy. I will stay with him. I will let my emotions and my heart lead the way for now. When he ends the kiss I look in his eyes.

          "I'll stay," I whisper with a small smile on my face and instantly the ache in my chest of what I was going to do is gone, my future is bright. For now at least. He smiles, I smile. He hurts, I hurt. If he'd jump off a bridge, I wouldn't be too far behind him. I'd follow him anywhere and I know he would do the same for me.

          "Awwwwwwwwww...." I hear Jill say and I glare at her but then I laugh. Everything's going to be fine.

A/N: I couldn't do it... I have a weak spot for romance and happy endings and I just couldn't write it so that Harley and Ryan would be upset... I know, it has to happen... Ttylxox :) cyas, you're the best fans in the world. Love yah all!