Every Cliché Ever

3. Every Starbucks Ever

"Ugh! It's so hot!!!" I groan, looking around. Mounds and mountains of golden sand surround me and the burning sun looms above threateningly, with not a single cloud in sight.

How did you get here?

My best friend Jessica stands next to me, holding a hand above her eyes to block away the sun's heat. "Urgh, I know, right?" she rolls her eyes. "My make-up is melting."

Yes, that's what you should be worrying about right now.

That girl is sooooo relatable. No wonder she's my best friend.

I hope your face melts off.

"I haven't had Starbucks in the last 5 hours," I yank on my ugly blonde hair that was still gleaming in the sunlight. "I'm going to go insane."

Honestly, what is it with you people and Starbucks? How are people so addicted to that thing? And that isn't the only coffee shop in the world, you know. I don't even like Starbucks.

Suddenly, I spot something in the distance. I gasp, recognising its logo immediately. "STARBUCKS!!!!1!!11!" I yell, and the two of us run towards it.

Fuckin hell! Why is there a starbucks in the middle of the fucking desert?! What the honest to goodness cat butts?!

We hurry inside the furnished, and fully air-conditioned Starbucks (makes total sense) and slam down three hundred thousand dollars on the counter.

"Two cappuccinos with real unicorn poop glitter and dead rainbow fairies," I exclaim.

I honestly think that that could be an actual drink.
And why the heck are you even there? Why is there a starbucks in the middle of the desert. Why are you even there?! So many questions.