not proud of this chapter, like always.....(not edited)
i might also go to my previous stories and fix them and make them longer and better
THIS IS GOING TO BE BAD CHAPTER, AND IS MOSTLY GOING TO BE ABOUT NIALL. REMEMBER THIS, BECAUSE IT IS NOT GOING TO BE ALL THAT GREAT
also i didn't re-read it so it is going to be horrible, sorry
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Niall viewed the pink sky that danced together peacefully with a tiny tint of purple. He sat beside his open window, feeling the fresh breezes that flew to his bare face making his blonde hair fly up. It was one of those rare days when the boys had a day off, which he was peacefully enjoying. He took a deep breath inhaling the chilly air.
He leaned his head lazily against the wall as he viewed the outside from his window. He listened to the soothing pattern of the wind. He closed his eyes as his lips creeped upwards a bit as he tried to ignore the voices in his mind, telling him he is not good enough. He itched his arm desperately as took a deep breath before his smile broke into a frown.
His mind was not like a remote that he can control turn off and on. It was hard for him to ignore the monsters that lived inside his head. Of course though, there were some good days. He enjoys having time to himself than being around other people, trying to control his anxiety. He enjoys not feeling guilty whenever he is around people, even though if the situation did not involve him or was minor. He always just felt so quilty
Niall liked being alone, because when your alone no one can hurt you. No one can tell you your a horrible singer, no one can tell you all your flaws.
He wish he could be like Harry, Liam or Zayn who sang beautifully and strong; That was the reason they were in the lead singers. Maybe even be like Louis who had breath-taking biceps that the fans loved. He just generally didn't want to be himself. Who would? He had croaked teeth, lived in a poor family and had to share a room with his parents, he was known as the worst singer in the band and more. Whats there to enjoy, except being part of the band that people barely recognized him in.
That was why Niall preferred to be alone most of the time. He did not want any ones presence, not even his own band mates. Every time he is around someone, he usually compares himself to them. He was tired. For most people, being alone scares them the most. Because being alone gives you chances and chances arent good when your suicidal. Yet the boys were in the other room, so the only thing stopping Nial from the razor were the boys. He was not ready to give up yet, even though he was dangling in the edge.
He began to think of the boys and smiled as he recalled some memories in his head he experienced with them. He felt a tingling in his stomach as he remembered him and Harry a few nights ago, going to his room and building a fort out of blankets and putting up Christmas lights. They buried each other in cushion, stuff animals, pillow, blankets. They forced Zayn to join them and the Bradford boy forcefully brought the other lads to tag along.
He softly giggled at the flashback of when all five of them tried sleeping in the small fort, but it ended up falling on top of them. Not only that but it was also one of those uncommon nights when he didn't fall asleep crying. He wasn't that depressed where he hated every moment of his life, but he was still miserable at many times.
He looked at the ground as more flashbacks came to him, making him giggle loudly and a smile spread on his face. His dull blue eyes shined a bit. His pink lips twitched upward and the monsters stopped speaking as he was distracted by the good times.
The wind outside began to blow harder, making a harsh sound. It pushed his blonde locks to the side and chills ran up his body. He was to distracted to even notice the change in weather. He only shrugged and continued to snicker to himself as his smile grew. He was enjoying the time with himself until he heard a dramatic gasp from the corner of his room.
