Halos & Horns

A Las Vegas Demon in King Uther's Court

"Mordred, I can't play with you now; I'm late for work," Miss Twitch said. Her cat looked up with pleading eyes. "I know you're bored, but one of us has to pay the bills. I promise, I'll bring you home a special treat tonight. How about some of that salmon you love?"

The cat meowed and turned away. Miss Twitch picked up her car keys from the table and headed to the downtown Las Vegas offices of Horn & Cypher, Private Investigators. Her employers, Gabe Horn and Lou Cypher, were already there, engaged in a spirited discussion in their private office.

"I had to spend thirty minutes listening to Detective Mordecai ranting about you," Gabriel told Lucifer.

"Only thirty minutes?" Lucifer replied. "I'm hurt the good detective thinks so little of me."

"Did you really take bets from his uniformed officers at the police station on how quickly they could tackle a suspect?"

"It was a perfectly legitimate pool until the battle-axe walked in on it."

"Another thing - did you call Mrs. Mordecai a 'battle-axe'?"

"I didn't know she was his wife." Lucifer added pensively, "Although it explains a lot about Detective Mordecai's attitude. If I were chained to that battle-axe for twenty years, I'd probably be an angry, ill-tempered prick, as well."

Gabriel smiled. "He does seem perturbed at times, doesn't he? I've never heard a mortal use the word 'fuck' as often as Detective Mordecai."

Lucifer looked up, startled. "I thought angels couldn't say 'fuck'?"

"We can't," Gabriel replied.

"But you just did!" Lucifer exclaimed.

"Did what?"

"Say 'fuck'."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes you did. You said: 'I've never heard a mortal use the word fuck as often as Detective Mordecai,'" Lucifer said.

"Oh fuck, you're right, I did," Gabriel replied.

Lucifer grimaced. "There's something extremely disconcerting about hearing an angel cuss."

A knock on the door interrupted them. Miss Twitch entered the room. "Sorry I was late this morning, but-" she halted, as the room seemed to sway, like the ebb and flow of an incoming tide.

"What's happening?" Gabriel asked, as he felt the room spin.

"It's like we're in a rowboat on a turbulent sea," Lucifer replied. "Both of you, take my hand and I'll lead us to the door."

As Miss Twitch and Gabriel joined hands with Lucifer, a vortex opened behind him sucking them in like a vacuum. In moments, the three figures had disappeared, leaving behind an empty office.

●

Lucifer found himself on his hands and knees. The stone floor beneath him was cold and chilled his tail to the bone. He lifted his tail and realized his glamour had been dispelled. He rose on his cloven hooves and dusted himself off.

"Attend my words, demon," a wizened man with a flowing white beard commanded.

"Where am I?" Lucifer asked. "Who are you?"

"Observe the circle at your feet, demon. Do not attempt to cross the ring until I tell you to."

Lucifer advanced on the man, but as his hoof touched the rim of the circle he felt an electrical charge pass through him, forcing him back.