Someone I loved once
Gave me a box of darkness
It took me years to understand
That this too was a gift.
-Unknown
***
"Stop it!" I yelled. My voice ached, the strain of my constant screaming finally taking its toll.
"Luke stop please!" I screamed again, allowing my feet to carry me over to the two struggling figures on the ground. I couldn't help but cringe as the smell of fresh blood hit my nose.
"Luke you're going to kill him!" I put my hand against his back, the man still ignoring my pleas. I watched another 30 seconds of my boyfriend delivering punches to another mans face.
"If you ever." One punch.
"Come near." Second punch.
"My girlfriend." Third punch.
"Again." That was the fourth and final punch before Luke stood up, his breathing was shallow and his fists were stained with blood. "I'll fucking kill you." Lukes voice was cold but a warning tone was present.
The poor guy on the ground only grunted and even that seemed painful. Luke however was unfazed, as he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me away from the sidewalk.
I looked back over my right shoulder casting a sympathetic look to the mass of limbs on the concrete. Luke must have noticed because he tightened his grip on my waist muttering a simple phrase.
"Piece of shit deserved it."
***
The silence in the car was almost unbearable. The air so thick I felt like I was being suffocated.
"Luke-" I started, but was cut off by his quick reply.
"Don't." He warned, his tone completely bitter.
"How was he supposed to know I had a boyfriend?" I questioned softly not really wanting to make him more angry than he already was.
"You were standing alone-"
"Exactly, ALONE." I interjected, my voice raising an octave. "You were in the club still and I was alone outside. He offered me a ride because I was crying. Crying because of you I might add."
Luke ignored me, only tightening his grip on the steering wheel. And now I was pissed. Fuck this nigga and his feelings.
The only reason we were fighting was because Luke didn't want to take me home from Vibe (a new club in the city). We had been there since 10 and it was already 1:30 am. I pushed past my boyfriend after he refused my request to go home and took another shot. I wouldn't have been outside crying if I didn't turn back towards the bar at the last second. When I did I felt my heart shatter, because I saw him with his hands up another girl's dress. His lips pressed to her makeup stained neck.
***
"Fuck you!" I yelled as we walked into our shared apartment. I kicked off my 5 inch silver heels and tied up my long black hair.
"Imoni, are you mad cause I beat up that douche?" Luke chuckled darkly. He followed behind me as I went up the stairs and into our bedroom.
"Yes actually. I'm mad about a lot. You were being an ass at the club, refused to take me home, made out with some slut and the icing on the cake. Add a god damn drum roll, you beat up some kid because you thought he was flirting with me." I started clapping my hands to mock applause.
"Good fucking job!" I said and rolled my eyes. I walked into the bathroom connected to the bedroom. I tried to slam the door, but of course Luke was right there. Blocking my attempt to close the door with his foot.
"Baby-"
"Don't 'baby' me." I snapped, leaning against the counter.
"You always do this Luke. You act like an asshole. Then always want to come in and act like nothing happened. You're so controlling!" I sighed running hands over my face.
Luke came over to me placing his hands on my waist. It took everything in me not to fall into his arms and forget this night even happened.
"I'm an ass." He said placing his face in the crook of my neck.
"No shit." I scoffed, keeping my arms at my side.
"I'm controlling and don't treat you as good as I should." He sighed rubbing my back with one hand, as the other squeezed my hip.
"You always flirt then get upset if guys flirt with me. Like a hypocrite. You're fucking insane nigga." I said ignoring the throbbing of my heart. Each of my muscles aching to hold on to the man I love.
"I'm insane because I'm in love." Luke chuckled before kissing my neck repeatedly.
"Don't blame your mental issues on your love for me." I rolled my eyes, but nonetheless let my head rest against his chest. I could feel it coming. I wouldn't be able to be pissed at him for much longer. It's like a never ending cycle with us and has been that way since the beginning of our relationship 3 years ago. Luke was a destructive force and I was the good girl looking to be a hero. In many ways I have saved him, he's so much sweeter and less of a rogue like when we first got together. However I know that in helping Luke become a better man, I've lost parts of myself.
"One day I'll stop doing this to you." He said, his brown eyes connecting with mine. I shook my head and let out a laugh, even though there was nothing funny about our situation.
"My wanting to believe that's true, is the only thing keeping me with you. Even though we both know the facts." I stated ,my voice cracking from the unshead tears I could feel coming.
I didn't pull away when Luke leaned in and placed his lips against mine. We moved slowly at first. Our lips slipping in sync as they always do.
"You don't deserve me." I said biting his lower lip softly. Luke grunted, lifting me off the floor and onto the counter.
"I know I don't." He huffed, sliding a hand under my black satin dress. I held back a moan, dropping my head onto his shoulder.
"You break my heart." I kissed his shoulder. Placing my fingers into the shirt to expose more of his shoulder.
"And I put it back together." He moaned as I bit down gently to his skin.
We were incompatible yet completely perfect. In no way does that even make sense, but neither does our love for each other. I let my thoughts, insecurities, and pain evaporate for the night as I felt Lukes fingers enter me. His lips colliding with mine.
I knew in my heart that we were crazy. He was a ticking time bomb and I was trying to defuse him. I put myself in danger and although I knew it, know it and will always know it, my allegiance still remind with Luke. The guy that has the power to break my heart and repair it within the next moment.
Luke slid a second finger into me muttering a soft "I love you" and I couldn't help the tears that fell.
He was dark
I was light
He was careless
I was careful
He was cruel
I was kind.
We don't mix, but in a way we compliment one another. Toxic is our love.
Author's Note
Hey y'all. Sorry I know it's been a minute but I'm back. I'm thinking about doing a part two for this or even making it a mini series, but I'm not sure yet. Either way let me know what you guys would like (:
-J
