We Were Born To Die

Hello, Cold World.

There was something numbing about knowing you were dead. It numbed you, but at the same time there was a sadness you couldn’t shake. You couldn’t be warm no matter how many blankets you had.

Curled up on a window seat in one of the mostly forgotten bedrooms in the house, the petite girl gazed down at the street below with slight interest. It had only been five days since her ‘accident’ that left to her being trapped in the house and she still felt uncomfortable walking through the house that was supposed to be empty. Sitting in the room, she felt slightly better, at least. Part of her wanted to explore the house in a search for Tate, but at the same she was still afraid of what the boy would be capable of. She bit her lip at the thought. If she had been honest with herself the day she died, she should have expected this more. She had almost been sure that she would just die, nothing more, nothing less. Now she was here, and was beginning to understand that this might be worse than just death. Hearing the door open behind her, Alice kept her eyes focused on the street below.

"Fuck. Alice?" The voice made the girl turn her head, her eyes wide with surprise. It was moments before she had stood, running over to the boy who stood, bewildered, just inside the door. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she felt tears stinging in her eyes. The fear she had felt of her friend seemed to have vanished at the sight of him.

"Why? Why did you leave me alone?" Her voice was barely a whisper and she was barely aware of arms wrapping around her.

"I don’t even know what happened. I wish I could give you some sort of answer but I have no fucking idea why I’m here." She felt his breath in her hair and instead of being confused, she felt relieved that Tate didn’t remember what happened. Perhaps he simply wasn’t himself that day. She had always known there was something terrible in this house. Had it somehow been able to influence his actions? Her thoughts were cut short as Tate suddenly pulled away, holding her away from him at arms’ length as he looked at her with sudden fear. "Alice, you shouldn’t be here. This house is full of darkness. It’s Hell. It’s not safe for you to be here."

Alice stared at him for a moment as the realization hit her. He didn’t know. ”I’m so sorry, Tate.” She whispered, her voice shaking as she tried to blink away the tears that seemed persistent. At her apology, the boy’s expression changed, displaying the confusion he felt. The blonde bit her lower lip, “I – I can’t leave…” She knew there was a chance that he wouldn’t understand what she meant. He could think that she simply thought she couldn’t because she didn’t want to leave him, but Tate was smarter than that. She hoped, anyways. She couldn’t bear to say that she was dead, not out loud, not to Tate.

"What do you mean you can’t leave? You have t-" His final word caught in his throat as he figured out what she meant by those three simple words. There was only one way you couldn’t leave this house. "No. Alice, you can’t be. You’re so innocent and pure. You can’t fucking be here. This place… It’s full of darkness and fucked up people. You’re not bad, you shouldn’t be here."

"I’m sorry, Tate. I’m so sorry." She took a shaky breath, trying to keep herself from breaking down on the spot as she looked down at her feet. She couldn’t bear to see Tate looking so upset, knowing she was the cause and there was nothing she could do to fix it. She realized she was shaking, even slightly, and knew it wasn’t from the ever present chill she felt since she died. "I – I missed you… Some part of me thought that coming here would fix that… It was stupid, I know… I… Someone pushed me…" By the time she was finished, she was crying and nothing she could do would stop it. Tate pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her in a protective hug. "I’m sorry, Tate."

They stood in silence for a while as they both tried to pull themselves together. Alice thought it would have taken longer for Tate to accept that she was dead, but she didn’t mind that she was wrong. It meant less trying to convince him, more simply trying to move on from the matter. He had started crying, she knew that, but he tried to hide it. She felt horrible for being the reason her best friend had cried. She felt horrible for the entire situation. She should have been there to stop it. Talk him out of it, help him. But she wasn’t. This was completely her fault and that was the worst part.

Shifting her head, Alice looked up at the boy, his messy blonde curls falling over his face. “Tate, what do we do now?” Her voice was soft, afraid to break the silence that had settled over the two teenagers. Tate opened his eyes, looking at her as he considered his reply.

"What we’ve always done, I guess." Tate replied, shaking the hair out of his face. "Play Scrabble and watch movies or whatever the fuck there is to do around here. It’s you and me, together forever, just like we always said."

The blonde nodded her head, resting her forehead against his chest as she thought about the simple answer. There was something sad about the way he spoke. Together forever. In a normal situation, it would have been such a lovely phrase, but here, it was only a reminder that they were trapped in the house for eternity. She could tell just how miserable Tate was with the thought, but not for the reason one would think. Alice knew her friend never thought highly of himself. He wouldn’t be quite so miserable if it was just him subject to this fate, but knowing that she had to suffer as well was what did it. She remembered a day where Constance had told her that she had never seen Tate care for someone other than Addie as much as he cared for her. As far as she knew, the boy probably thought he deserved this fate, even if he didn’t remember what he did.

"You shouldn’t be here. It’s not fair." Tate’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts and she moved her head again to look at him but he was staring towards the window, clearly lost in his own thoughts. "You could have done so much with your life, done something fucking great. Now you can’t ‘cause you’re trapped in this shithole. It’s not right."

"Tate, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything." Alice said softly, biting her lower lip. "I was never very strong, and as soon as I lost you... nothing seemed worth doing anymore. I couldn’t do it without you." She felt him pull her closer to him and nuzzled his chest lightly, closing her eyes. "Things will get better, they have to. If I learned anything in my life, it was that things can’t stay horrible forever. It has to get better eventually."

"I hope you’re right." Despite how he tried to keep the statement light, Alice knew that the odds were he didn’t believe things would ever get better, not in their situation.