Kakashi sighed exhaustedly. Another day, another mission... another night alone, lonely. Only that this night wasn't like any other, not really, at least not to him. Because, a look at the clock in a shop's window confirmed, he had just turned twenty-six two minutes ago.
Not that that mattered.
Not to anybody except him at least.
The Jounin sighed again while he saw his apartment building appear in the night. He didn't blame anybody for not knowing that it was his birthday. After all, he'd never told anybody, had never wanted anybody to know. Although... maybe he should have told his Genin team. Naruto would have certainly invited him for ramen the following evening. And maybe... maybe even he would have come along, maybe-
No. Kakashi shook his head while he stopped in front of his apartment door to search for his keys. He shouldn't think of him. Because no matter whether he knew about his birthday or not, he would never care. Never. Not in the way Kakashi wanted him to care and not in any other. He had to accept that finally, that it was and would always be a dream.
A dream, nothing more.
Sighing once again, Kakashi opened his door and trudged into his apartment. He was dreaming of him too much these days, it was unhealthy, and most of all it wasn't right. He really shouldn't-
The Jounin froze when he finally noticed the presence in his apartment, then gasped when he identified the chakra signature. Could it be true? Could there-
No. Without looking up, Kakashi shook his head. Whatever this was – dream, illusion, whatever – it couldn't be true. He would never come to him, never. Never.
"Kakashi-sensei?", the illusion asked softly.
"What are you doing here?", he asked back but didn't lift his head. He could only pray that this dream would vanish as soon as possible before he had the chance to hope even more, to yearn, crave and desire even more.
"I... I wanted..." There was a noise, like shuffling, and Kakashi realised that the illusion had chosen to be on his bed.
"Yes?" He almost laughed bitterly. Could it get any worse than this?
"I... am here to wish you a happy birthday", the illusion whispered softly.
"Nobody knows it's my birthday today", Kakashi told it bitterly. There, now he could be sure that this couldn't be real. He looked up slowly and almost started crying because it still looked so real, so painfully real.
"I..." The illusion scratched its nose and blushed a little. "You know, I... I sneaked into the Hokage's office and read your file some months ago..."
"Ah." It hurt. It hurt to see the object of his cravings sit before him and know that it wasn't real. It hurt to see the scar over its nose, the slight blush he yearned so much for on its cheeks and the soft hair he desired to touch so desperately right within arm's reach.
"I... I know I shouldn't have, but..." The dream laughed a little embarrassedly and blushed a little deeper. "Well, I... I just..."
"What are you here for?", Kakashi asked briskly. He knew the answer already. That thing was there to torment him, to make fun of him. And he couldn't do anything to stop it.
"I... I have a birthday present for you...", the dream breathed.
"Ah. What?" Another night full of dreams of loneliness? Another dream in which he was caged and had to look at Iruka laughing with everybody but him?
"I..." The illusion took a deep breath. "Me."
"You?" No, this was even worse, even more torturing.
