It was probably the best night of my life. A perfect mission, perfect boyfriend, and perfect night. We went back to Roy's apartment to get some much needed sleep, but I hate going to sleep. The reason is because I have nightmares about me past. My father abused me and to that I lost my mother. She was put in a mental hospital and haven't seen her since I was six. Still to this day I still flinch when the transporter's voice calls out a man's name. This was the first time that me and Roy slept in the same bed in our relationship. We're not ready to take the next step into the relationship. Roy said when we have dated for about a year or more we might. We both climb into the king size bed and Roy turned off the light. I snuggled closer to him and wrapped my arms around his bare chest. He always makes me feel safe in his arms. The last thing I heard was the beating of his steady beat of his heart as I fell asleep.
In the dream
Slam! The front door shuts closed. I hear movement downstairs. I jump in my bed and held my bear close to me. I heard a drawer open then slam shut.
"Kaldur where are you"
"I am. In my r-room fa-father"
I was terrified of him. Always hurting me and makes mommy watch. When he finished hurting me he would toss me into my room and shut the door. He would leave the house and mommy would come in and patch my boo-boos up. She would hold me and apologies for what he did to me. For what she failed to do as a mother.
"Get down here. Right. Now."I swam down the stairs to see my father sharping a knife.
"You c-called father." He looked at me and patted the table for me to sit on. I got up on the table and sat still and quiet.
"Do you know what this is my son." He waved the knife in front of my face. It started to frighten me a little.
"A knife. Mommy uses it to cook."
"Correct. Does this knife scare you. " I nodded with a scared and watery look in my eyes.
"Lay down son. Wait! Take off your shirt first."
I obeyed without hesitation. Now flat on my back, he drags the dull part of the blade down my chest. I squeak in the back if my throat.
"What's wrong son? You do not like it when I do this."
"No. It hurts me." I said while I squirm to get away from him. He started to chuckle, like he was enjoying my pain.
"Good."
He plunged the knife in my leg. I scream as loud as I could with tears streaming down my face. Then all of a sudden the pain went away. Almost like it didn't even happen. I look at my leg and saw no marks, no blade, no blood. I looked up again and saw Roy. I ran to him and hugged him tightly. I felt a sharp pain in my back. Roy had stabbed me with a knife. I cried as he yanked it out of me.
"Roy I thought you loved me." He laughed at me.
"I could never love a fag like you. I only dated you because I felt sorry for you. This never was anything important to me. Beside I found someone better than you." My best friend from Atlantis appeared. Tula took Roy's hand and kissed him. In front of me! I was crying my eyes out. Begging for this nightmare to stop. But I knew it was true, Roy never truly loved me.
The dream ends
I snapped awake with a scream. I looked around the room, then back at the bed. Roy wasn't there, he had left me. The dream was a reality, Roy never loved me. Leaving me alone to suffer. I sat there, my knees to my chest and cried both my heart and eyes out. I was crying so loud I didn't even hear Roy enter the room.
"Kaldur!" He rushed over to the bed onto the bed and gathered me into his arms.
"Sh. Sh. Sh. Hey. You ok. Calm down I got ya. Sh. Sh. Don't cry, I hate seeing you cry. Talk to me hon. What happened? Tell me what happened?" I looked at him and he smiled a little at me. I flung my arms around his neck and cried on his shoulder. He held me tighter and started to rock me side to side.
"Calm down. I'm right here. I'm not leaving. Sh. Sh. Was it a bad dream?" I whispered something against his neck but it only tickle his neck. He bent his head down to kiss my hair line.
"Honey. I can't help you if you don't talk to me. How do I make it better? Tell me. Please." He whispers in my ear. I start to cry again as I cling to Roy. My legs were wrapped around his waist and my hand gripping his shirt. He moved to to pick me up and move to the couch. I was looking down so I couldn't see his face. It was probably fill with disappointment because I was crying. He place his hand on my stomach and used his thumb to rub small circles. I was still crying but not as bad as it was before. Roy started to bounce me on his knee. He knows that always calms me down when I get scared or on a adrenalin high and used his other hand to rub circles on my back.
"Roy. I-I'm scared."
"Scared of what babe? Tell me."
"Of my father and you." I started to cry at Roy's shocked face. I hide my face in my hands not wanting to see his face. He took my hand and put them at his side.
"What happened? Hmm. What did I do to my angelfish?"
"You called me a fag! You took a knife and stabbed me. You said you never loved me. Then you kissed Tula right in front of me. You left me alone." I started to shake like a leaf. His arms gave me a gentle squeeze around my waist and kissed my forehead. He placed my face in the crock of his neck.
"I would never do that to you. Never! I love you and only you Kal. I know 100 guys that would want to be you. I want to be you. You are so perfect in every way. You eyes look like a tropical storm. You lips are fuller than any other girl I have met. Or guy for that matter. I love holding you like this. Like my little baby. I love you so much I would face Neptune himself if it meant I get to keep you. I may only be a clone, but I would never give you back to the real Roy Harper. I will always love you babe. You're stuck with me dude, and I'm not going anywhere. Ok. I never want to see you cry again. You are too beautiful for tears. Ok. Let me love you Kal. Let me hold you forever." I think I almost cried durning is speech. I never knew he loved me that much. He always had a way with words. I started to fall asleep to Roy humming me to sleep.
"I love you Roy." I fell asleep in the arms of my love. In the arms of my dream guardian.
