You're hopelessly in love with your boyfriend, Jughead Jones. When the subject of physical intimacy comes up one day with your best friends, you find yourself afraid and in doubt.
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Well, it was actually happening.
FP was away on a trip with the Serpents ("it's like a company retreat for gang members" he had joked) and had left Jughead to watch the trailer for the weekend. A weekend that Jughead had invited you to spend with him.
"I was thinking we could... you know," Jughead said nervously, eyes darting back and forth. "Only if you're ready."
You kissed him on the lips, smiling at his shyness. "I'm ready."
The pieces were all in place. You'd told your parents you were staying at Veronica's with Betty for a girls' weekend ("use me as a sex scapegoat any time" Veronica had said excitedly). Veronica had helped you pick out some scantily clad outfits that weren't too obscene. You toted them in your duffel along with your other sleepover things, clutching the bag like it held government contraband.
"Hey," Jughead said, opening the door with a tender smile. His hat was gone, hair neatly combed, and he smelled of a different, more expensive cologne.
"Hey," you said, smiling shyly. You followed him inside.
The trailer you'd once hung out with Jughead and his dad inside was transformed. All the clutter had been cleared away, and every semi-safe surface was covered with candles and rose petals. Jughead's phone was plugged into a speaker, playing one of your favorite songs.
"Oh, Jug," you whispered.
"You hate it, don't you," Jughead said, embarrassed.
"No, I love it," You said, turning to him with a huge grin. "I have a surprise for you too! Let me get ready!" You waggled your eyebrows suggestively and he laughed, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. You brought your duffel into the small trailer bathroom, closing the door behind you.
After a fair bit of maneuvering and a bit of contortion you were able to clamber into the piece Veronica had picked out for you–a transparent nightgown that split into two halves around the midriff so your stomach could be seen. A matching thong covered your underside. You re-did your lotion and fixed your hair and makeup about ten times. Finally deeming yourself to be dressed (or undressed, as the situation may be) you reached for the door handle. Your hand froze and began to shake.
Taking a look at yourself in the mirror, you couldn't feel anything but dread, and self-loathing.
You weren't ready.
The lingerie that had looked beautiful on the mannequin didn't look right at all on your body. The makeup Veronica had taught you to do seemed all wrong from how she taught it, and your hair just looked like a mess. You felt like everything was going wrong. Thoughts of comparing yourself to Betty and Veronica returned, and you just felt ugly, ugly, ugly.
Your mind went to the act itself. What if you couldn't do the things Archie taught you? What if things didn't go has he described them? What if you tried to talk dirty and it came off as a turn-off? What if you swallowed the condom?
Tears began to seep from your eyes. You were so scared to mess things up, to let Jughead down.
"(Y/N)?" Jughead called, tapping on the door with a knuckle. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," you called out, trying to conceal the congestion and shaking in your voice. "Almost ready!"
You weren't almost ready. You had no intent of leaving that bathroom.
"Are you crying?" Jughead asked, confused.
"No," you said, but you couldn't hide the tearfulness in your voice nearly as well.
"Hey," Jughead said, leaning on the door. "Let me inside, I can help."
"Maybe this was a mistake," you whimpered out, wiping off the makeup stains from your tears.
"(Y/N), if you don't want to yet, we don't have to," Jughead said, sincerity in his voice. "We can wait for another chance when you feel more ready."
While your hand still shook, you were able to move it such that it opened the bathroom door. Jughead's gaze fell on your ensemble, eyes widening.
"I look horrible and I don't know what I'm doing and I just feel like I'm going to let you down," you said, sobbing.
Jughead shushed you, guiding you to the couch where the two of you sat down. You felt even worse remembering all the work Jughead had put into these romantic decorations.
He held your arms, positioning you so that you could see into his eyes. "(Y/N), you look absolutely beautiful. When we do have our first time, we're going to go through it together and learn about each other together. And nothing, nothing you do could ever disappoint me." He touched his forehead to yours. "Being with the woman I love in the most physically intimate way is going to be one of the most important moments in my life, no matter what happens during the moment itself."
You looked up at him. "You... you love me?"
He grinned. "Of course I do."
You bit your lip. "What if I forget what Archie taught me?"
He smiled. "It's not really about thinking, (Y/N). It's more about doing."
"What if I try to talk dirty and it comes off as a turn-off?"
He chuckled. "From what I overheard, you know how to talk dirty and turn people on, (Y/N)."
"...what if I choke on the condom?"
He kissed your worries away. "I know the Heimlich maneuver."
He held you in his arms, rocking back and forth until all your anxieties felt like years ago.
Taking a deep breath, you nodded to yourself.
"I'm ready."
He looked into your eyes. "Are you sure? There's really no pressure to do it tonight."
You grinned, challengingly. "Are you scared, now?"
He grinned mischievously, pulling you closer. "Never."
