Peterick Oneshots

13

     There was this super hot guy in my AP English class, and I'm mean HOT. To most people, he wasn't the most attractive guy. Like he wasn't the most fit, his haircut wasn't great, he wore trucker hats.... But damn, a banana shot out of my zipper like a rocket every time he strolled sexily into class. I didn't know there was a possible way to actually make AP classes interesting.
      I was resting my head on my arms, not paying attention, when through a tiny slot of space between my arms, I saw baggy blue jeans and his awkwardly placed messenger bag. I looked up, and indulged in his beauty.
"U-um, why are you staring at me..?" He asked. While looking me up and down. I sat there for a few seconds before awkwardly winking. He looked at me with a confused and a mix of disgust look. Oh man, I hit it off like a pro.
      After class, I got home and rested on nightmare before Christmas bedsheets and laid my greasy hair on poor Billie joe armstrong's face. I had a green day pillow, also I was greasy as hell. Imagine somebody scraped clean of all McDonalds grease and poured it on me. That's how greasy I was. I smelled my pit stains and boi, did I need a shower. But of course I procrastinated and decided, tomorrow will do. The next morning, I entered the bathroom to shower. I got in and sat down, like I usually did, cause who wants to fucking stand.

MIKEY'S  P.O.V
     Since lynZ moved, I didn't know where her house was but she was going to have a GREAT week before finals. Now I just have to find her. I looked through some windows to find that emo lesbian. Immediately I saw her. And I knew it was lynZ, I mean who couldn't recognize that sad emo?

PETE's POV

    I stared at the tile walls surrounding me in boredom. Then I heard a loud noise cumming from the window. Probably the elderly couple yelling at each other because they couldn't decide what they wanted for dinner. Then patrick entered my mind. I pictured his sleek body with his soothing messy red hair sticking out in all different ways in his I♥️ BINGO baseball hat. I quickly grabbed my throbbing cock. This was going to be a messy morning. OH AND THOSE MUTTENCHOPS! They made me quiver . I started pumping my cock as cum drizzled down my hand. "BAZOONGA!!" I heard a loud noise cumming from the outside of the shower. I froze and stopped pumping. I felt a thinner liquid trickle down my hand. I slowly rose my hand were my eyes could see it. It was blood. I screamed. Did I masturbate too hard? " Oh come on LynZ you knew it was coming." Said a voice I'd never heard before.
           I peered over to see a semi tall man (taller than me) through the blurred glass. There was a pink outline surrounding both sides of his body along with a pink thing on his head , a pink blur around his waist and a pink stick in one hand. He started flying and peered over the shower. What I saw was something he did not expect. A tall bony man wearing a tutu and a long pink wand in his hand with a big yellow star at the tip. The guy smiled at me before his face dropped."fuck, your not lynZ... And, and your a guy." Mikey whispered in horror. I just stared at him in pure fear. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, your not lynZ, your a guy, shit shit shit!" The mysterious man cursed and clutched his wand so hard his knuckles turned white. "M-might I ask who you are?" I said quietly. I was nervous. And trust me, I was never nervous. I could flirt with Patrick and not even feel a bit scared. I was pretty loose, looser than a stoned college student. The guy spun around and stared at me. "Wait, fuck, you can actually SEE me??" He asked. I nodded slowly. He stared at me for a second. "Well, I think you might be the first boy with a period, Pete." The guy said and smirked at me. He dropped a package of tampons next to my feet. "I think your gonna need these." The guy said. "Who even are you?" I asked. I was so fucking annoyed. I sighed and got up. "Wait, if I don't have a pussy... Where does this thing go?" I asked and held up the tampon to the guy. "Well, I don't really know..." He muttered and bent don't to take a peek. He grabbed my butt cheeks and I yelped. "What the fuck are you doing???" I growled like an angry wolf. "Do you want me to find out or not?" The guy said. He was obviously entertained by me. I felt like a puppy wearing a bunny costume and dancing on its back legs on some huge stage. I sighed and crossed my arms. He spread my ass open. "Interesting, it's coming from you asshole..." Mikey muttered. I shrugged and started shoving the tampon in myself. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" The guy screamed and grabbed the tampon from me. I glared at him about to let out all my rage. "You didn't even take off the fucking packaging???" The guy asked. I blushed harder than Ryan's milky ass. The guy took off the packaging and positioned it right on front of my ass before pushing it in quickly. I yelped and bit my lip. He stepped back and examined his work before patting my butt and saying, "all good."
           I started on my way to school when I saw him flying next to me and following me. "I'm Spikey Mikey." He said and held out his hand which I ignored. "Aww is it that time of the month?" He asked. "Stop being so fucking demeaning." I growled back.
"Damn, does somebody need advil?" Mikey asked. "That'd be fucking great right now." I snapped. Mikey put his hands up in defense. "It's just my job, don't blame me." He said and handed me the Advil and a pink stained glass cup. Once I finished swallowing the pills the glass disappeared into thin air. Usually I would go on for an hour about how 'radical' that was, but I couldn't care less at the moment. Once we got to my school I headed straight to AP English and sat down. Spikey Mikey sat on my desk and crossed his legs. "AP English fucking sucks, what'd ya even get in for anyway?" Spikey Mikey asked. "Deep dark poetry." I said. By deep and dark, I meant depressing edgy stuff and a butt load of metaphors that don't make sense.
    
         Mikey's pov

         I looked around the classroom when my eyes landed on an especially hot teacher with a name tag of 'Mr. Toro' but I tried to ignore that. On the corner of the white board in small letters what written 'welcome to AP English'.
"AP English fucking sucks, what'd you even get in for anyway?" I asked. "Deep dark poetry." He muttered. Damn that was edgy.
      I sat there for a few minutes and watched kids come in with baggy eyes and stuffed backpacks before Pete decided it was time to rant about me.
"God could you get off my fucking desk I can't even see the white board. Can you just leave your really fucking annoying and-" suddenly he stopped. His eyes glued to a certain somebody walking in. A 'Chicago' trucker hat and some red hair with these awful mutton chops. He walked in with his black messenger and Pete was fucking drooling over this kid. You could see his muscles tighten and a deep red blush fill his face. I decided not to mention it. Mr Toro stood up and screamed for people to calm down. During class, some kid with long greasy black hair (if I correctly recall, his name is Bert McCrackhead) snuck up behind the teacher. Mr Toro on the other hand was casually reading the paper when he hit the carpeted floor face first. His glasses knocked off and he could only hear the noise of the class making a ruckus. His hands felt around all over until he found them. He put on his glasses to find a Bert sitting on the ground laughing his ass off, his chair leg broken off, and the class pointing and laughing at him. "GET IN YOUR SEATS!" He yelled and everybody quickly returned to their bored quiet state and class continued.
       Next I followed Pete to history. There was a guy even shorter than Pete standing in there, I bet Gerard would've been desperate to get in his pants. I usually don't fancy short guys though. But Pete's an acception. I mean, I can't hide that I think he's hot, I practically followed the kid everywhere. Once the class was all in the classroom Mr Iero closed the door and everybody started chanting the words 'Mr Oreo' louder and louder each time. "Mr Oreo... Mr Oreo.. Mr Oreo! Mr Oreo!! MR OREO MR OREO MR OREO!!" Until it was cut short. "You don't want the Ms Williams to barge in here and scold us again." Mr Iero said and laughed. Later on in the class he stood on the desk and started talking about Edgar Allen Poe's relationship with pedophelia. I thought the class was crazy, but Pete just said. "It was pretty uneventful... Well as uneventful as Mr Oreo's class could possibly get."
       After was lunch. I followed him into the lunch and sat on the table and he sat on a  chair. He sat alone but the whole lunch period he didn't even talk to me. He just stared at that kid. You know? The one from earlier that looked like a messy Ed Sheeran?
            After lunch I pulled him away from school.
"Whyyyy?" Pete whined. "We're going to get that redhead to go out on a date with you!" I declared. "But I can't!" Pete said. "Oh please" I rolled my eyes,"you could easily pick him up." I said. "But he's totally out of my league!" Pete said sounding very frustrated. "He's out of your league!!" I yelled. He groaned. We walked back to his house in silence until he asked "How are we even going to do this?" "Duh, we text him." I replied. "I don't have his phone number." Pete grumbled. I pulled out a book of records and grabbed his phone number.

          Petey's POV
        Mikey took my phone and a book appeared out of nowhere. He entered a few numbers before texting a few things and showing me the phone. It read out, he yo mayo mi buddy, if this is patrick your in for one hell of a ride! "Holy shit, you must have a lot of experience." I said and grabbed my phone. Um, who the hell is this? I smiled and started typing my name before Spikey Mikey grabbed the phone and deleted it. "You dumbfuck, everyone loves a boy who plays hard to get." He smirked and gave my phone back. Tats somthin u will find out latr bby. I sniggered and shoved my phone into my back pocket. My pocket was legit tighter than a 6 year old. I might block this number but you're funny. Me and Spikey Mikey fist bumped like the pros we were. Mikey took my phone and bit his tongue while smiling. I'm tight liek im 9 ;)).
I grabbed my phone and waited for Patrick's reply.
Okay lol, you're weird as fuck.  Mikey grabbed my phone back and quickly typed. Im aslo wired as fucc in bead ;) "sorry the spelling might be a little off, I haven't written anything for years except for a restraining order."
           After that, of course, Patrick left it on read. Mikey insisted we make a 'when bae doesn't reply meme' for my Tumblr but I declined. I was so sad that bæ left me in read.
       "Hey, Pat..rick. Do ya wanna hangout sometime..b-bro?" Hit it off like a total pro, best skill I've ever seen.
"Uh sure." Patrick breathily laughed and walked away.
"Omggg ur PMSing" mOikEy sAyEd. Get it? Bc pactrix's initiOls R PMS and thEn PeEt is liek
"sTFU U HOE" and mOikeY is liek
"❤️❤️  peyt I wuv ya'll bUt iMa pUsSy"
"aWW Iyts oki Spoiks bc I aM gAld u gAv Mi mOy pErod. Aslo I wuv pastwik nawt u ;(("
"sTfU"
;((((

So this was fun to write