• Yeonjoo
I was walking through the empty hallways alone. It didn't felt lonely nor sad because no one was there. It was only me, walking lazily to my classroom. The sun just rose before i got the chance to get inside. I didn't want to see the sun to rise - becase i'll know their arrival in this classroom would be nearer than i expected.
I still haven't thought about some things thoroughly, although i made a decision. A final one - that will surely make a difference.
I was the one who started it all. I was the one who made people hurt. Pain was something everyone didn't deserve. Even for people who have thought of me bad. Life can be a little bit rough sometimes, but it will eventually calm down. The pain us youth should be feeling wasn't planned to be like this.
*"One I wished, I never played, oh what a mess we made, and now the final frame, love is a losing game." i sang, although not having the nicest voice for everyone to hear. I smiled and continued the lyrics of the song. How ironic, i was singing heartbreak though i should condition myself for a twist in everyone's happiness.
"Self-professed profound, 'till the chips were down, know you're a gambling man, love is a losing hand." i ran my hand through the blue notebook Renjun gave me. The one Domghyuck should've given me before i broke him. I was about to flip the first page of the notebook but a familiar voice echoed, filling the entire classroom with his presence. I felt chills ran down my spine as i stopped singing.
"You have a nice voice." he smiled at me.
Why was he smiling? Why was he here?
"Mark?" i shook my head. Am i really seeing Mark? He should be mad and disappointed at me at the moment. But why was he smiling?
He entered my classroom and sat on an empty chair at the other side of the room. He huffed, fidgeting with his fingers endlessly. "Did Jaehyun hyung talk to you last night?"
I nodded. "About last night i'm... i'm really sorr-"
"you don't have to be." he looked at me, assuring with a warm smile. "Anyway, have you fixed things already?"
"I think so." i sighed. "But i'm actually scared. I had millions of second thoughts. How would they react, if they can accept it or not."
"You know, there are a lot of possibilities that might happen. I know you're doing this for the better, for the sake of everyone. At first, your way of fixing things might sound selfish for others, but eventually they will thank you for prioritizing everyone's happiness first before yours. Of course, you will be hurt. Many will be hurt. But it will eventually go away."
I looked at Mark, raising my brow in suspicion. "Did you and Jaehyun planned all these? I mean you almost got the same words he told me yesterday."
"We got help from Taeyong hyung." he laughed, making me smile all the way.
I found myself admiring Mark for his maturity and kindness in handling the mess we've made. He was one of the most amazing people i've ever seen. He shouldn't have been involved in this but he helped us all the way. He never sided on anyone, and that's how true his love and understanding for everyone of us was. He was a real person.
"Why are you staring and smiling at me like that?" he raised his voice. "Do you have like some sort of crush on me?"
And all my praises for Mark went back. "Um no? Why would i have a crush on you?" i rolled my eyes.
"That thought was disgusting." he palmed his forehead. "You know, let's keep everything platonic."
"Yeah. That dating thought was gross." i chuckled.
***
"Sorry, i'm late!"
My eyes looked upon someone who pushed himself inside the classroom, apologizing again and again to our teacher who was already standing in front.
Teacher who was already standing in front.
Shit.
I immediately sat up straight, causing for me to get dizzy. I hand-combed my messy hair, and wiped some drool on my cheek. Gosh. This is embarrassing.
"What time is it?!" i panicked, lightly hitting my seatmate, who was apparently Jaemin. My voice and attitude towards him should be different after last night but i can't sacrifice academics for our personal problems.
"Ten minutes before this class would be dismissed?" he looked flustered.
"Oh my gosh." i whispered, whining. How did i sleep throughout this morning? My morning plan was a whack. Oh gosh.
"Shin Yeonjoo, you should be commended. No one has the guts to sleep in my class. And you, latecomer Lee Donghyuck, Haechan or whatever they call you, a round of applause for him please?" the teacher looked pissed. Although she had the remaining ten minutes to teach our class, she marched towards the door, leaving the class in a mini-shock that turned into a gag scenario.
Everyone was laughing but i wasn't in the mood to laugh nor smile. After waking up, those roundabouts suddenly went inside my head again.
I looked at Donghyuck who had his eyes on me the whole time. I smiled at him and he smiled back.
Looks like i got a headstart.
I signaled for him to stay put on his chair before turning back to Jaemin. The class was a bit noisy but knowing Jaemin's feelings, he would shut the world just to listen to me. I know i shouldn't take advantage for that but it was the only way for me to clear things up.
"Look, Jaemin." i started. He turned to me as if he was listening intently. "I'm sorry i cannot reciprocate the way you feel for me. I'm sorry. I can't force myself to love you because, because you... you know... i have someone already. I'm sorry i caused you pain, i'm sorry if i was the reason of your tainted relationship with Donghyuck. I was shocked, although you gave hints before. I forced myself not to believe your hints, reminding myself that it was bad to assume things. Sorry for hurting you."
"Cliché it might sound." he sighed. "If we could turn back time, i will definitely do things properly. I'm also sorry for making a scene last night. I was out of myself."
"It's alright." i chuckled. I convinced myself that i moved on with that scene. Forgiveness was the key. It never failed me.
"And i know it's hard to build up our friendship tower again without remembering mishaps. But please, let's give ourselves time. Maybe we can be like before." he bitterly smiled. "I know we need to heal for some time, we can't force ourselves to be alright. But soon let's be friends like before."
He lent his hand for a handshake. "Friends?" he asked.
"Friends." i shook his hand.
⚔
• * - Love Is A Losing Game by Amy Winehouse
