The Missing Lester {phan}

5.

Phil:

Hey Dan! Don't worry about me!

Phil:

I'm doing fine! Actually, I'm doing great! Sorry I simply left your life out of sudden but it was necessary for my sake. Idk if you called the police, but there's no need for that. I'm not lost, I'm just in a different and better place. I rather not tell you were I am because I'm now truly happy, and sorry to be the one who had to say it, I'm much better without you.

Phil:

Hope you move on and sorry for taking so long. Happy any birthdays that I miss from now on. This is the last text I send before I delete your phone number. Don't ask me why I'm doing this but I'm doing it.

Bye!

~

Two months and eight days. I got a text. When I saw it was from Phil, I freaked out. I almost fangirled. Finally! Some answers!

When I finished reading I dropped my phone onto the floor. I was shocked. I think I actually fainted. Everything turned black.

I hit my head hard on the floor. When I woke up, the living room was moving and I felt dizzy. I couldn't get up. I was trying to remember what happened before. Oh yeah. Phil texted me. A "break-up" text. I read the text again and again. I couldn't believe in those words. I broke down in tears.

I just wanted to escape earth for a single moment to breathe and process what the hell was going on. I wanted to scream as loud as I could. I wanted to get lost, drown myself in alcohol. And that was what I did.

Sobbing, I ran out of the flat. Abigail was coming in my direction. I didn't pay attention to what she was saying, but probably something like "Are you okay Dan?" No, I'm not okay.

I ran as far as I could. I far as my long legs could carry me. I was totally lost and I didn't know how to go back home. Nobody was around me. My eyes were burning from crying. I just did the most primitive thing that someone could do at the moment.

"FUCK YOU PHIL!" I screamed. "FUCK YOU PHIL, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I HATE YOU!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" I was on my knees. "I LOVED YOU OKAY? WHAT DID I DO TO YOU? I DID EVERYTHING SO YOU COULD BE HAPPY BUT ALL YOU DID WAS FUCK ME UP WITH THESE FUCKING FEELINGS!!" I was out of breath.

"What did I do wrong to you? I don't even know you!" I heard a voice right behind me. It wasn't Phil's. I looked back. It was an Asian, tiny man. "Sorry interrupting you, I just wanted to help. I'm Phil."

"Oh, sorry about that Phil. I was screaming at another Phil, Phil Lester. Have you heard about him?"

"No, but by the way you sounded, you are very pissed with him huh?"

"Yeah, it's a long story."

"You need a drink. There is a bar nearby, so why don't come with me, I buy you a drink and you tell me your story?"

"Yes please, thank you Phil! But you don't even know my name!"

"That doesn't matter for now. Come on."

Phil was very nice with me! Probably one of the nicest people that I ever met. He ordered for him a caipirinha.

"What did you order? What is a caipirinha?" I asked, curious.

"I'm a traveler blogger and this is the only bar that serves caipirinha in London. Caipirinha is a Brazilian drink with lots of options of flavors. Sometimes I drink just to have the pleasure of tasting it but whenever I need alcohol, I just ask the strongest one and it's delicious! Want one?"

"Sure!" I ordered a lemon one and damn, it was good. "So you have a travel blog? Do you live here in London or you're just visiting here?"

"Yeah, I'm only sticking around for the next two weeks. I was born in Indonesia but my father is from America and my mother is from Japan. Now I live in Colombia, got married with a beautiful Indian woman and I have two children, one from Brazil and one from Canada."

"Wow, I'm perplexed! What a life right?"

"Yes, and this travel blog is just a hobbie, I'm actually a psychologist. But I don't matter at the moment, the important thing now is you. What happened between you and Phil? Tell me the whole story."

I told everything. How we met, how he is, our jobs, how I felt about him and what was going on.

"Oh so you're Daniel Howell! My older daughter loves your videos. Specially Phil's. But she complained that you two are not posting anything."

"Yeah, please don't tell her about this, I don't want our fans to be worried about us."

"Don't worry, let's think this is a therapy session, will keep this classified."

"Thank you Doctor Phil." Wow, funny thing to say.

"I've watched one of Phil's videos before and this text wasn't written by him, for sure."

"Really? What a relief! But what should I do?"

"If this wasn't written by him, try texting him back. If he doesn't reply in a few hours, call the police."

"I tried calling the police but something was holding me back, I don't know why! Could you explain this to me?"

"Oh, yes, my daughter said something about you being socially awkward... But look at us! You met me on the street about an hour ago and you're opening up for me! That doesn't seem like social anxiety."

"First, I was on edge. Second, I trust you because you said you're a psychologist and third, I'm almost drunk." I took the last sip of the cup. "Jez, this caipirinha is strong as fuck! But I'm very anti-social, you have no idea."

"But I could be lying to you about me being a therapist. Don't you think?"

"Yeah, I just met you and I have no sense of judgment right now."

"The same thing happens on the internet. Don't you trust your followers? Did you trust Phil when you found each other?"

"Yeah, I guess..."

"But you still talk to them right?"

"Yeah."

"The same thing happens in real life. If you think having a conversation with a stranger on the phone or on the street is the same thing as replying someone's comment, you'll easily overcome the social anxiety!"

"Wow Doc, thanks for the tip!"

"Now, go home. You're drunk. Get some rest and then text Phil. Here's my card if you need any help in the future. I might not be in London but I can help you from anywhere around the globe."

"Okay, thanks Phil."

"If I were you, I wouldn't trust no one. Phil could've been kidnapped. I know you two barely leave the house so only a few people know your address. Keep an eye on the neighbors and friends okay? Now go safe."

"Thank you Phil, thank you."

After an hour or so, I got home. I was exhausted. I saw Abby on the hallway. I completely ignored her. If she asked why I didn't talk to her, I was simply going to say "I was drunk, like any adult can get."

---

BOI that was a loooooong chapter lmao