Loving Jane Greene.

Chapter 8: Uncover

                             Jane's point of view

When I exited Alex's apartment I had many questions running down my head."Did I love Manuel?" I was marrying him, I thought so. "Did she mean what she said?" "How could she? After having fucked that girl" I mean, I wasn't jealous "Was I?" I shook my head to try to distract myself from the thought, but it only got me thinking that it was affecting way more than I thought it would, " Why did she have to look at me like that?" I remembered her eyes desperately chasing mine and a knot formed in my stomach.

-Jane?- Alex opened the door and I jumped a little from the surprise.- You've been standing there for about three minutes...- I had to laugh a little for my cluelessness and nervousness, I didn't have any excuse.

- I was... Mmm... - She was having fun at my reaction cause she smiled, showing her annoying white teeth and scratched the back of her head in wonder.

- I'll see you tomorrow.- She finally said and I appreciated the gesture more than I was able to show.

When I got home it felt so empty, it was always a bit hard for me to get used to the absence of Manuel in the house, but also a bit relieving as he could be overwhelming sometimes. Alex never made me feel like that, in fact, I always longed for her company.

I remembered how alone I felt after I left her, how I craved for her almost every night, some nights worse than others, but my pride was stronger than myself, and the night I decided I couldn't handle it anymore was too late:

Flashback

I was in a bar with some coworkers celebrating the release of our first episode, I had stopped drinking because whenever I did it I would have this almost irresistible desire to call Alex, I had even changed my phone to stop myself from calling her.

That night was so melancholic and in the bar "Would" from "Alice in Chains" started playing. "Alex's favorite song, " I thought as I took a sip of champagne. I went outside feeling the loneliest person in the world and wondered if she was feeling the same, questioning my decisions. The wind felt like needles on my naked shoulders and the champagne felt so warm in my throat. I took my phone out of my car and decided I was calling her, there was no one I wanted to share this moment more than I wanted to share it with her. I needed to listen to her voice, even if it was for insults. It had been a little over three months since I left her and my chest was aching from the thought of her rejection, but I had to try, It was unbearable.

I called her cellphone but it was disconnected, So I tried her house.

- Hello?- I have to admit that hearing Clarice's voice was calming, I had not noticed how her voice resembled Alex's until that day.

- Hi- I said shyly and put my hand on my shoulder trying to escape from the cold.

- Jane...- There was a silence for a moment, I didn't think she would recognize me but it made me strangely happy.- How are you?- I could tell she was sad, and a bit confused.

- I'm alright- I wanted that to sound convincing, but I don't think I did a good job.- Is Alex home?- I was nervous, "Was she even going to want to talk to me?"

- Honey... Alex left about a week ago to Korea, to study and all.- Those words hit me like a wall, I had never felt so abandoned, so alone " Is that how she felt?" I hated myself for doing it to her.- Jane?

- Yes, sorry... Is she okay?- I honestly wanted to know, I had been so selfish and it did not hit me until that day.

- Well, you know, it was very hard for her... Robert is with her, hopefully, that will help.- Robert? At least she wasn't alone like I was, I deserved it.