Wrapped up in each other feels so right. I want to fall back asleep but Ryan seems to have other plans. He feels restless against me. I hold him tighter, a silent plea for him to relax and rest.
I attempt to force myself to open my eyes but it's too difficult, "You know, this is the first time you and I have ever been in a bunk together."
His fingers move through my hair, scratching as he reaches the back of my neck. "That can't be true."
"This is definitely the first time." I say with conviction.
"What about the nest?"
"Doesn't count."
"It should count."
"It doesn't. That was a bed in a room with a door." As intimate as the nest was, it was hidden. The fabric that closes us off from the hallway now is merely the illusion of privacy.
"You know, I really wanted to." That gets me to open my eyes. He continues his confession, "Back then. Sometimes I would stand outside your bunk wishing I could crawl in with you."
"I never knew that." I'm pretty sure this is one of the only times he's brought up anything having to do with us and that first tour. "Why didn't you?"
"I think I was scared. Fuck, I KNOW I was. What would everyone think. What would happen if I did." He sighs, "I was pretty messed up."
Understatement.
"I remember." The sadness coming over me like a veil. I try not to think of how poorly he treated me then. How I was in love with him and he treated me like property at best.
He picks up on it right away. My body suddenly rigid. He lifts my chin to look at him. His eyes are open in the way they only are with me. "Don't be like that. I figured it out. We figured it out. We're us now." His tone goes from comforting to playful. "...and I'm in your bunk."
I smile at that. Relaxing again. "Yes you are. Never expected that."
He smiles back, "I'm full of surprises, baby."
He kisses me quickly, "Get dressed." He starts to get up, making his way out of the bunk. "Vicky has a car for us."
I sit up, watching as he moves far too fast for this early in the morning, "Where are we going?"
"The mall."
I laugh, "You're not serious. Where are we actually going?"
"The mall." He says, definitively.
"C'mon." He's not serious. But I don't get the joke.
"The. Mall. Get dressed."
