Speechless [RusAme Oneshots]

Late

Alfred PoV

Blue, It's every where
The white specs coming from me
It's calming
But I'm scared

A shadow passed me
It's small but familiar

Closing my eyes I remember this feeling
Feeling secure and not alone
The alone part is yet again familiar
Why?

My phone rings as I'm about to prepare the table for his arrival at home. Making his favorite and waiting for the sound of wood and flesh knocking each other outside. My foot ready to run and greet him. Flashing his warming smile that complete's me beyond words, a frame that makes me feel secure, a welcoming hug that I miss. 

And the small figure he will be carrying in his strong arm. The blue of the child's eye will always make me happy no matter what, It screams hope and courage every time I see it. He's our little treasure.

Picking up the phone a stern female voice greets me

"Good evening. Is this Mr. Alfred?"

"Umm yes..." I answered with a bit of concern, hoping it's just something at work and not anything with my family

"Your husband and son is... involved in a traffic accident and I'm sorry to inform you they died on the spot"

I dropped to my knees and a silent gasp escapes my mouth. It rushes quickly to me, my heart felt like it stopped beating and ready to just... end.

"I'm sorry for your lost, we expect you to come to the hospital as soon as possible"

The call ended and I looked back to the dining table. It reminded me of how happy we are every night eating dinner. Suddenly the whole house felt like a big memory

A house of memories

One thing I can't deny is how I cried for hours. Even the knocking of my neighbor in my door step I just ignored, swimming in this painful moments of grief, I let it all out flailing to the sofa and just... cried. A family that I cared most now gone, the two souls I love more than my own life now gone. It's so fast how they left me behind alone. Alaski little heavenly voice haunts me every time a look around the small space, His laughter and childish behavior clouded me. The worst part is I can't fill his last request. 

Now I regretted not listening to Ivan, we should've go last week not tomorrow. My nails dug deep inside of my head, drawing blood, cancelling out all the voice the three of us made everyday when we have the time. It lingers around the house.

Maybe we can't come there tomorrow, but I can

I smiled at that naive thought 
Waiting for the last white spec to escape me

This is suppose to be the last place we see
But now I'm alone here
The burden and pain is just to much

If papa and dad is here, they might tell me to be strong
But they are my only strength
And I lost them

This is the right place I want to end it
A place we love so much
Mysterious yet mesmerizing place
And now I felt like I'm close to them

It's what connecting me to them
A place everyone called

The sea

Yes

I'm playing with you guys again so I can be a little happy... or sappy
Forgive me please

Well

ADIOSSSS