Losing someone is not easy. Especially when the person you lose is the closest thing you've been to happy in a long time.
I still remember the day I got the phone call, like it was yesterday. I had been down in the den with my older brother Luke's band 5 Seconds Of Summer, I felt like something wasn't right. Alex hadn't texted me all day and I was starting to worry. I heard the phone ring and I ran upstairs to answer it thinking it was my boyfriend. "Hello, is this Miss Lucy Hemmings?" I gulped and responded with a quiet "Yes". My hand shakily gripped the phone tighter in my hands. I heard a sigh on the other side of the line. "I'm afraid Alex Harding, has been in an accident", tears were streaming down my cheeks. "What, what do you mean?" I whispered
"I'm so sorry Lucy, Alex passed away" The phone slipped out of my hands, I landed on the ground with a thud. This can't be happening, not now. Not him.
I gripped my stomach and curled into a ball, footsteps came thundering up the stairs as we were the only ones home. Luke was the first to notice me on the ground "Luce, Luce come here bub" he mumbled pulling me into his arms. I sobbed harder seeing all of the boys with concerned faces. Ashton being the oldest picked the phone back up and talked. "Thankyou sir" He said hanging up the phone and placing it on the table. I lifted my head from Luke's shoulder as Ashton placed a hand on my back. "I'm so sorry Luce" He whispered. Ash motioned for Cal and Mikey to go into the kitchen. I heard gasps and harsh whisper yelling. Luke kissed my temple and rocked me back and forth like he did when we were little. The boys tried to do everything to make me happy. I tried to act happy but deep down I was broken, shattered.
When the rest of our family found out they were very supportive and didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to. Luke and my other brothers Ben and Jack were always around to keep me company. Along with my best friend, Cassidy and of course the 5sos boys.
One day I wanted to give up, I needed to see Alex again. I need him. No 16 year old girl should ever lose their first love this way. I tried to open the pills but the lid was too tight, I couldn't get it open. "OPEN THE DOOR, LUCY OPEN THE DOOR" I didn't respond. The door flung open and the bottle was knocked out of my hand, the pills spilt everywhere. "Look at what you did" I wailed as I sunk to the ground trying to collect them all in my hands when I was grabbed by two strong arms. "I want to die" I cried "I want to die". I saw Luke at the door with tears in his eyes.
My brother hasn't let me leave his sight since then. I've been on this medication that makes me sleep a lot since that incident. It's been 3 months now. It's easier now but I still haven't been back to school. I'm thinking about quitting there's no point if he's not there.
