Fake Flowers (Frank Ocean)

Sunday

"I think I want me a little one that looks like my clone"

Frank and I are lying in bed together. Naked. We did some... sinful things in the eyes of god.

"So you want kids? I don't know why but I always thought you wouldn't want kids", I said.

"What made you think that. I love kids. I want to be a father so badly"

"I thought you were like the type to be a free spirit all your life." I said.

"Nah, I always wanted to be a better version of my father. Probably not hard to do, all I have to do is not abandon my child"

"I always wanted to be a mother. Just provide my child with a family and love. Give them support. Breed them for success. Isn't that what it's all about, making sure they have everything they need to succeed", I say.

Its late 3:34 am. My eyes feel heavy and I want to sleep but Frank and I are talking.

"You make them happy. Make them into good people. We need more good people in this world." Frank says.

We are in an odd position. We're both looking at the ceiling side my side but holding hands. I don't know why we're holding hands. Hopefully Frank knew this was a one time thing. We were both emotional and things got out of hand.

"Hey you know what's odd?" I ask

"What?"

I didn't know if I wanted to bring it up, Frank was calm now I didn't want to throw him back into that emotional crying fit again.

"I got a dog today, His name is Martin. I didn't know if I wanted to bring it up", I say

He ponders for a second.

"Well, that can't be a coincidence. The day Everest dies you get a dog. Well expect me to be at your place almost everyday. That's our dog now", Frank says while laughing.

"I'm just scared of getting my heart broken. I don't know what I would do if I got attached to him and something bad happens"

"In life you got to take risks. Sometimes the happiness, the joy, the memories it instills in you until the day you die, are far more powerful than the pain." He says.

I think about telling Frank something. It's kinda embarrassing. I'm 25 and feel like a 13 year old girl.

"Frank, I've never been in love" I blurt out.

"What! That can't be possible? How?" He says while lifting his upper body up to look at me better.

"I just. I don't know. I've liked guys. I've been infatuated with someone. It's fake love. I just never had that feeling of wanting to literally die for someone. Never had the feeling of loving a guy because of his internal character. It was always so sudden. Nothing gradually, like in a speeding car waiting for disaster to strike."

He's quiet for a second again.

"Love is the most beautiful feeling, It's devoting yourself to someone. You're more concerned with their well being than your own. I realized my happiest periods in my life was when I was in love", Frank says.

"I feel left out, like I'm missing something. My music is good without that experience, but I just feel excluded." I say sighing

"It'll come when you're least expecting it" He says.

I'm scared to fall in love. Its gonna be my first love, and what if it's not big, bold and heavy. I sigh and turn my back to Frank. I drift off to sleep as soon as my eyes flutter shut.