Hi, this is kind of more of a rant than a poem, sorry.. if you don't like it you don't have to read it.
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-- Everything I say or do is always wrong. Everything I happen to be or make is wrong. I can't like something without being criticised for talking about it a lot. I'm so very sorry, friends, family, for talking about things I like. I'm so sorry for having a positive opinion on things. I'm not allowed to be negative let alone positive.
I'm not allowed to be me. I'm not allowed to cry or be upset. I'm not allowed to have a failed suicide attempt but why not if you're always telling me to kill myself. Why not if you push me or hit me or call me every name under the sun. Why am I not allowed to contemplate at a bridge after you drove me there.
Hey, it's okay. As long as I starve myself and stay quiet at all times. Everything's okay as long as I contemplate suicide and my family hides the sleeping pills.
Look, I'm okay as long as I smile at school and cry at home and as long as I don't show or tell anyone I'm broken then I'll be okay and so will you as long as you don't ask if I'm okay, we both know the answer to that.
I'm okay maintaining a perfect happy girl at school. I'm okay when my stomach bubbles with objection when i push away a plate of pasta.
I'm okay hearing the words 'kill yourself' every day.
I hope you're okay when you find out that the only time I'd listen to you is when you say
Kill yourself.
--- Sorry if that made you down...
Keep smiling :) stay hydrated . Eat properly and take care of yourself. (ﾉ'ヮ')ﾉ*: ･ﾟ
