Invisible

Dreamer

The room is dark, but I can see Ethan in full light. A strand of his hair is in his eyes. I stand up and push it out of his face. Then I trace my finger down his jawline. He smiles, shyly. His eyes are so kind, so caring. His smile, so sweet. Everything inside me wants to make him smile constantly. Be the reason he smiles. His lips, so soft. I don't know what I'm doing, but I trace his lips with my finger. Tracing his smile. I can't take my eyes off him. I put my hand on the side of his face, and lean in. Closing my eyes, I press my lips onto his. He puts one hand in my hair, and the other on my hip. I pull away, to see his face again. But I miss the feeling of his lips on mine immediately, so I bring him in again, the kiss more passionate this time.

"Connor, you're going to be late for school," my dad slightly shakes my arm. I'm reluctantly pulled out of my dream.

My mind still racing, replaying my dream over and over again as I get ready.

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My heart is pounding as I step into homeroom. My eyes fall onto the table with Aiden and Kayla. She sees me, and nudges Aiden, whispering something to him. He looks up from his phone, makes eye contact with me, and mouths the words: "Fuck you".  I turn away and scan for another table I could sit at. Everyone is avoiding my eyes. There's one empty table at the back that I had never noticed before. Knowing it's my only option, I set my stuff down and sit there. I can hear the whispers surrounding me.

"He started a fight, then walked out. Coward."

"I knew he would snap one of these days."

"I'm surprised they let him back into school."

"His suspension was only three days? I thought it'd be at least a week."

My head starts spinning. To keep myself from passing out, I put my head in my arms on the table.

"Look at him, he's crying."

"Fucking coward."

Thankfully, before I lose it, Mrs. Seans walks in. "Good morning everyone!"

The morning announcements come on, and soon enough the bell rings. 

The rest of the day goes basically the same as homeroom did.

Finally, lunch arrives. I almost run into the cafeteria, and immediately sit down with Ethan, who is already here.

"Hey, how do you feel?" he asks as soon as he sees me.

"The headache comes back every few hours but other than that I'm fine."

"Your nose is pretty bruised still," he moves to the seat next to me. "Does it hurt?"

"A bit. I've mostly forgotten about it. It's still kind of weird looking in the mirror and seeing a swollen purple nose though."

"Yeah, that would be weird. You know, I'm glad you're back. It's been weird not seeing you in the halls and shit."

"Not glad to be back. I was right about everything being fucked."

"I'm sure it'll only be a few days. You have tons of friends. People just like drama."

Just then, Jason and Tyler walk behind us.

"So is this the fag you left us for," Tyler puts his hands on the table in between us. 

"Be careful, Tyler. Hes defensive of his boyfriend. He'll punch the shit out of you, too," Jason laughs.

"Just ignore them, Connor," Ethan says quietly.

"Oh, they're ignoring us, Jason," Tyler says, mockingly, and they both laugh. I can feel my face is bright red. 

Ethan grabs my arm and pulls me away. A feeling of warmth runs from the spot he touched me all over my body. I don't hesitate to follow. He leads me out of the cafeteria and into the bathroom. Neither one of us say anything. I lean against the wall, and he leans against the sinks.

"Why are you friends with such assholes?" he breaks the silence.

"They weren't assholes when we met. The older we got, the douchier we got."

"You aren't an ass. I think that's what surprised me most about you."

"Thanks... I guess?"

"Sorry, I don't really know what I'm saying."

"Don't worry about it. We should probably get back to the cafeteria before people start spreading more rumors about me."

"You're probably right," he says as we both start heading out the door.

We make our way back to our table, and Ethan sits across from me. I see Kayla staring at me from across the room. Surprisingly, she stands up and walks over to me. 

"Look, Connor, I'm really sorry about what I said. It was a dick move." Her eyes move back to her table, and everyone, including Aiden, is looking back at her. "I really hope you can forgive me." She sits down next to me, crosses her legs, and puts her hand on my shoulder. "My parents are out of town, so I'm having a party tomorrow night. It wouldn't be the same without you."

"Are you kidding me? What would make you think I would want to go to one of your shitty parties surrounded by more of Aiden's fucking minions?"

"Connor, Aiden won't be there. I wouldn't have invited you if he was coming. Just, please think about coming. Please." Her arm is still on my shoulder, and she gives it a light squeeze.

I think for a minute. "Can I bring Ethan?"

Both of them look at me, shocked.

"It's both of us, or none of us," I say, and shake her hand off of me.

She sighs, and looks at Ethan. "Are you going to rat us out to the police if you come?"

"Um, no," he mumbles.

"Then fine. Party starts at 9. Bring as much booze as you can." She stands up and walks back to her table.